Category Archives: humorous poem

Inevitable

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Version 2

Inevitable

When I cough, I sputter, and when I sneeze, I spray.
My pet pastime is muttering. I’m trite in what I say—
these candid confessions representative of all
the ways that I’m imperfect—the reasons for my fall.

Once I was a prima-donna—unique in every way—
put up on a pedestal, protected from the fray.
But as I aged, old father time reduced me with his cleaver.
My mind grew vague and spotty. I fell victim to hay fever.

All the glories of the past vanished over time.
It made a simple mortal of what was once sublime.
So, fair warning to young lassies with your skin like peaches.
One day you, too, will fall into Father Time’s cruel reaches.

The prompt words today are pet, cough, representative and unique.

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/01/20/rdp-sunday-dog/Pet
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/01/20/fowc-with-fandango-cough/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/01/20/your-daily-word-prompt-representative-january-20-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/01/20/unique/

Out of Order

7 Replies

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Out of Order

If you’re an avid planner—an agenda sort of man,
life seems to have a fondness for screwing up your plan.
Ideology is fine so long as you take note
that fate seems to have other schemes than life lived out by rote.

Providence is naughty. It thinks irony is divine.
It likes to move our decimal points, nudge columns out of line.
It screws around with calendars, plays jokes with weather, too.
It messes up your Windsor knot, conceals one favorite shoe.

It messes up collections and puts them out of sequence.
confuses medication in its timing and its frequence.
So if life changes the rules after you think you’ve won,
learn what it seeks to teach you: spontaneity is fun!

 

Prompt words today were collection, avid, ideology and plan.

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/01/15/ragtag-daily-prompt-tuesday-collection/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/01/15/fowc-with-fandango-avid/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/01/15/your-daily-word-prompt-ideology-january-15-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/01/15/plan/

The Perfectionist

28 Replies

The Perfectionist

Change not a hair of thy fair head if it be for me.
I like you just as you are now from pate to chin to knee.
Your shins, though, are too shinny. Your ankles too well-turned.
Your heels? Shockingly callused. Consider yourself spurned.

For the dVerse Poets Quadrille Challenge.

Ta Ta

7 Replies

images-1                                                jdbphoto

Ta Ta

It’s an exquisite loss, your going away,
and it’s also timely, I’m given to say.
You may find it inane that I’m saved while you’re lost,
but it’s true that some friendships come at a cost.
You’ve departed, it’s clear. This I so plainly see,
but your leaving has given me something back: me!

 

Prompt words today are timely, inane, lost and exquisite.

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/01/13/rdp-sunday-timely/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/01/13/fowc-with-fandango-inane/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/01/13/your-daily-word-prompt-lost-january-13-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/01/13/exquisite/

An Ode to the Annoyingly Ebullient

11 Replies

* jdbphoto

An Ode to the Annoyingly Ebullient

Her ebullient nature sometimes seemed a little cloying.
Others less endowed with cheer could find it most annoying.
It seemed that her ambition was to slipcover the earth
with a shell of levity—a monologue of mirth.
That others didn’t seem to have her appetite for humor
based on romance serials and hearsay and on rumor
didn’t seem to faze her. Her allusions’ rarity
coupled with her seeming lack of storytelling clarity
fazed her not a bit. Though no one else seemed to be buying it,
she kept on unrelentingly with her “pie in the sky” ing it.

 

But, there is hope. Click on the below arrow to learn more:

 

Prompt words today are ebullient, ambition, clarity and appetite. Here are the links:

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/01/09/rdp-wednesday-ebullient/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/01/09/fowc-with-fandango-ambition/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/01/09/your-daily-word-prompt-clarity-january-9-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/01/09/appetite/

Overheard In the Home for Retired Musicians

4 Replies


Overheard in the Home for Retired Musicians

I’m stymied by your crepitus. Your embouchure’s divine.
If you don’t have your own tune, would you harmonize with mine?
Your tonality is breathtaking, your rhythm right on beat.
Your syncopation’s perfect. I fear I can’t compete.
As we play, our joints keep time. My knees snap, crackle, pop.
If our music were to lead to love, you’d have to be on top!

 

The prompt words today are crepitus, stymie, breathtaking and embouchure.

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/01/08/rdp-tuesday-crepitus/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/01/08/fowc-with-fandango-stymie/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/01/08/breathtaking/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/01/08/your-daily-word-prompt-embouchure-january-8-2019/

In Defense of Immaturity

12 Replies

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In Defense of Immaturity

Kids say immaturity
is not all it’s cracked up to be.
First, they have no salary,
and as of yet, ice cream’s not free,
so they depend on you and me
to determine when ice cream will be!

We tell them not to climb that tree
and put restrictions on TV.
We tell them that they have to pee
on potty chairs, not Grandpa’s knee.
We tell them they must walk, then see
each lurch and fall and laugh with glee.

Imagine notoriety
based on what one’s foibles be. 
Kids’ natural spontaneity—
their need to roughhouse, smash and flee
is often quashed, you will agree,
with all those in authority!

It’s tough to be a kid, you see,
given their great temerity.
So grant a bit of charity.
Recognize the disparity
between what we’d like kids to be
and their genetic heredity!

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/01/07/immature/

Home is the Sailor

7 Replies

 

Home is the Sailor

Homecomings call for clemency and memory that is short,
for when a sailor comes back home to his favorite port,
he doesn’t like returning to atone for past mistakes.
He’d rather do his penance for the new ones that he makes.

This isn’t any riddle, no mystery is involved.
It’s simply that some other bad habits  have evolved.
He finds he cannot take the time to mend what he’s forgotten
when he has so many other newer habits ill-begotten.

 

 

The prompt words today are homecoming, clemency and riddle.

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/01/06/rdp-sunday-homecoming/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/01/06/your-daily-word-prompt-clemency-january-6-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/01/06/riddle/

The Monarch of Dogs

13 Replies

The Monarch of Dogs

Morrie is the underdog. Diego’s top dog now.
Does one find this jockeying with horse or pig or cow?

Why does there need to be a boss now dogs don’t roam in packs?
I fear dog organization sound logic sadly lacks.

I am the queen of doggiedom in my house. There’s no need
for a boss of dogs to calculate their every deed.

Their kibble comes in cans and bags. Nobody needs to know
How to be the chieftain in bringing down a doe.

Perhaps they need a barking order as a way to tell
whose loud barking will predict the ring of the doorbell.

Perhaps they need to show me who deserves the premier pat
or the biggest food dish, or bone with the most fat.

And yet I love them both the same, in spite of any wishes.
I pat them equally and put their bones in equal dishes!

https://fivedotoh.com/2019/01/06/fowc-with-fandango-underdog/

New Again

1 Reply

 

 

New Again

So, one more number to remember
now that we’ve escaped December.
Drop an eight and add a nine.
So far, I am doing fine.

But I can’t anticipate
what will come to be my fate.
Will I be skinnier or bolder?
What new duties will I shoulder?

What new enigma to be pursued?
Will I be shunned? Will I be wooed?
What new Kardashian of late
will they want me to emulate?

I cannot predict anything.
No telling what the year will bring.
All its mystery is free
and that is simply fine with me.

No resolutions will I make.
Whatever comes, I’ll simply take.
Cross my fingers, cross my toes
and hope its pleasures outweigh its woes.

This year will spin out as it will
Until we all have had our fill,
and just when we feel we’ve had plenty,
it will change to 2020! 

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/01/01/anticipate/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/01/01/fowc-with-fandango-enigma/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/01/01/resolutions/