Make the sleigh bells jingle, put leather to the back of every lazy reindeer. You’ve an extra-heavy pack to deliver in this year when folks can’t get out shopping so there’ll be way more presents that you’ll need to be dropping.
You’ve always been a busy guy every Christmas Eve, but this year with the extra presents that you’ll have to leave, you’ll need some extra energy and upon great reflection, we’ve come up with some special means to show our great affection.
Milk and cookies will not be enough for you this year, so we’ll leave you a Wassail cup, a porter or a beer along with a sub sandwich, some cookies and some chips and some vaseline with glitter to protect your chilblained lips.
May you have sufficient energy. May reindeer find a way to keep up with the pressure of this extra special day. And may you be assured while you’re delivering your plenty that no year in the future will rival 2020!!!
Lower the pinãta. Bring the party to a halt. Cease your roar of protest, for I’m not the one at fault for curbing your frivolity and quashing all our fun. If you need a scapegoat, Father Christmas is the one who turned Rudolph out to pasture and retired his sleigh to blocks.
while Gaea, Christ and Santa Claus have some major talks. The Christ child won’t be crowned this year. The elves are on vacation. Santa will stay a figment of your imagination. The only Santas left are those “Ho ho” ing for their wages. St. Nicholas gave up the ghost when we put kids in cages.
He sold off Donner and Blitzen when we turned our backs on nature’s other creatures: the elephants and yaks. All the endangered creatures in the forest and the seas, those crippled by pollution, global warming and disease. He closed up his workshop as we squandered nature’s gifts, deserted the North Pole as the glaciers formed their rifts. Now bad boys won’t get presents and, alas, the good ones either. We’re being banished to our rooms while nature takes a breather. Will Christmas come another year? I guess we’ll wait and see. Next year will we be perched on or turned over Santa’s knee?
When daylight breaks, bring in the paper and over breakfast, plan a caper. Crazy plans are fun to bake up. Do your nails, put on some makeup. Call in sick. Forsake your labors and boggle all your friends and neighbors by doing something crazy wild. Reconnect your inner child.
A vital element in fun is do not stop until you’re done. Paint your house a vivid hue. Then why stop there. Why not paint you? Go for a boat ride, buy a bike. Buy hiking boots and take a hike.
Wear funny clothes. Get a tattoo. No end to things that you could do.
Turn your hems up, cut your hair. (No one can see what’s under there.) Take Santa Claus out on a date. Most months he’s bored. Don’t hesitate! When you are letting loose, please just only do the things you must. It’s vital that at least just once you dare to play the fool or dunce
and take the chance to try to binge and do what makes the whole world cringe. It’s fun sometimes to be unique in what we do or how we speak— to be that person standing out with anything that you can flout. Life’s too short to always do what the world expects of you!!!