Tag Archives: silly poem

Mosquito Bump Blues

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Mosquito Bump Blues

This strain of mosquito is so sanctimonious
because it claims its droning is indeed harmonious.
According to their drone master, they drone in harmony
depending on their sting site: ear or arm or knee!

They’re trying to get a copyright on harmonies they’ve written
according to locations simultaneously bitten,
but alas they don’t write music so they cannot win the rights
to music just recorded by the pattern of their bites!

Prompt words today are mosquito, strain, sanctimonious, according, copyright.  Image by Jimmy Chan on Pexel.

Avant Garde

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Avant Garde

I fear that this designer puts good taste to the test.
I’m flabbergasted at his color scheme and all the rest.
He is my boss, so if you will, kindly do not quote me.
The last thing that I need is for the fool to demote me.

In spite of any influence that I might have exerted,
It seems that in the end, the plans have all reverted
to the plans he started out with, so the building has been skirted
in lattice and in felt. Alas, it has been yurted!!!!

Prompts today are: rest, flabbergasted, designer, poise, quote and inserted.

 

Period of Adjustment (Can of Worms)

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Period of Adjustment
(Can of Worms)

Even the giants of the ocean must come up to find air.
As the bell sounds and each of us is off to a new table,
it is another indication of the extent of our sanity.
Memories like this reveal the boy within the man,
enough so you can handle caring for a pup—
a tight knot in her cushy denim bed just a yard away.
Those are traits she got from you, and certainly not me—
a  small-town landlocked jungle girl.

But if you lay off my breakfast, I’ll cook you your own waffle!
I guess I’ll go eat worms.
(If he’s the one I married, you can bet that he can buy them,)
By the time I’m twenty, I’ll grow out of it­­,
our break mended by a solid golden band,
and we can dine on  tunafish straight out of a can!!!
Little foibles seen in review.
And though our story is not over,
for now this is “The End!”

For dVerse Poets, we were to take the last lines of twelve of our poems and to create a poem out of them.  Yes, mine is a “bit” strange, but then so were all of the poems I took them from. Blame it on the prompt words. I always do.

Disgruntled

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Disgruntled

When I try to crack the whip and get the world in line,
somehow it turns fractious and starts to buck and whine.
Electrons turn to protons and refuse to whirl about.
The sun refuses to come out and stays inside to pout.

Berries stain my shirt front and seeds stick in my teeth.
Feral felines storm my bed and find solace beneath.
Friends offer consolation that is but a token.
There is little impact in the words that they have spoken.

If only things would go the way I’ve formed them in my mind,
there would be fewer problems in his daily grind;
but the world won’t listen and goes about its day
with very little interest in what I have to say.

No one will believe me when I say that I’ve evolved
to the point where the world’s problems I have mainly solved.
They go about their business like before I came along,
doing things without me and doing most things wrong.

They prefer those idiots who have run the Earth
slowly bleeding all of us as they increased their girth.
So until the world at large decides to meet my terms
and decide to love me, I guess I’ll go eat worms!!!!

Prompt words today are electron, token, fractious, impact, stain. I know I need a new disgruntled photo as I’ve maybe overused this one, but it’s a busy day and  this one just seems to work, so….

Monolingual

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Monolingual

Your language is not plain enough.
I do not get this “jibbing” stuff.
It angers me to have to look
these sailing terms up in a book.
Perhaps you are too lofty for
a small town landlocked jungle girl?

Prompt words today are jib, plain, anger, lofty, jungle.

Just for the fun of it, I wrote this poem line-by-line as I looked up the new prompt word without knowing what the next one was. I sort of got led down the proverbial password path!

Men in Trees

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Men in Trees

If you took an expedition to my favorite tree,
you’d find it’s convoluted as a tree can be.
It’s encrusted with lichen, but I’ve found that for a fee
an ornamental arborist can scrape it lichen-free.
They’ll do artful jobs of trimming off the deadwood if they’re hired
   by removing extra branches that look too dried-out and tired.

And if those earmarked branches contain nests of birds, perchance,
I’ve heard the trimmers merely move them to another branch.
In defense of ecology, no single squirrel has died
in this trimming of the branches, for they are safe inside,
nestled most securely with their babies and their kin,
thankful for the tree hollows that they take shelter in.

Prompt words today are lichen, convoluted, expedition, defense, and tired.

Open to Doubt (The Breakfast Caper)

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Waffle

Open to Doubt
(The Breakfast Caper)

Your dubitable alibi concerning the French toast
that vanished when I turned my back to play the perfect host
and pour you one more coffee is hard for me to swallow
That the kitten snatched it simply doesn’t follow.

The rhythm of your fingernails moving on the table
betrays your anxiety concerning your small fable.
The kitten looks so innocent and you’re the one that’s doing
all that heavy swallowing and that excessive chewing.

When I served the French toast, I made sure to give you four,
and give myself two slices, because I had no more.
So, to steal my slices was surely in poor taste,
not to mention how you might have choked in all your haste.

So, while I’m cooking me a waffle and pouring me the dregs
of this pot of coffee, please don’t commandeer my eggs!
I find your manners lacking and your ethics purely awful,
but if you lay off my breakfast, I’ll cook you your own waffle!

 

Prompt words today are moving, anxiety, alibi, dubitable, rhythm and French toast. (Images from Unsplash.)

Grandpa’s Stories

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Grandpa’s Stories

She smelled of gin and jasmine and was a lovely sight,
with her intricate maneuvers as she engineered her flight
out the back door of the restaurant and then over the hill
to escape the sure appearance of her dinner bill.
The leadership of angels led me on my quest
to pursue over hill and dale with muffler and with vest,

for it was a winter evening, swathed in ice and frost,
and I feared that she would freeze or at the very least, get lost.
When I found her in the forest, I offered her the garment,
told her that I’d paid her bill and kicked the snarling varmint
that dashed at her from bushes, and therefore saved her life
and that is how I came to meet up with my wife!

I’ve guarded her from varmints and paid her bills since then,
kept her warm and safe and supplied her with her gin.
You know her now as Grannie, old and soft and pale,
but you should know your grandma was not always so frail.
When you go out partying, feeling wild and free,
those are traits you got from her, and certainly not me!!!

Prompt words today are frost, offer, leadership, intricate, bill and jasmine. I never knew either of my grandpas, but if I had, I hope they would have told silly stories like this one!!

Elefante

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Elefante

In spite of the excrescence on my spaniel’s snout,
he seems to have no problem in sniffing danger out.

When he has an inkling that a cougar or a bear
is within a mile of us, his nose extraordinaire

indicates a warning with a sniff and then a snort,
signaling that it would be a good time to abort

previous plans in order for me to begin musing
about a route more suitable for less dangerous cruising.

He’s a canine Dustin Hoffman or a man’s best friend Durante,
so excessive in proboscis that I’ve named him “Elefante.”

A prince of nasal warning, he’s the hero of my life,
so I’d never dream of yielding him to the surgeon’s knife,

for unlike other species, dogs are not subject to vanity—
another indication of the extent of their sanity.

 

Prompt words today are *excrescence, dangerous, musing, inkling, prince and responsible. *An excrescence is a distinct outgrowth on a human or animal body or on a plant, especially one that is the result of disease or abnormality. As you might have guessed, “elefante” is Spanish for elephant. Image from Unsplash.

The Proposal

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The Proposal

He’s economically trustworthy, but has a humdrum mind.
He’ll never write a sonnet, for he’s more the right-brain kind.
He’ll never sculpt a fountain or create a work of art,
but he’s brilliant at accounting, numerically smart.
So he won’t paint your masterpiece, but if you ever spy it,
if he’s the one you married, you can bet that he can buy it!!

Prompt words are sonnet, fountain, humdrum, economic, trustworthy. Image by Andra Jackson on Unsplash.