It’s Boxing Day, and the questions this week are a mixed bag of whimsy and anything else!

1. Why is there a fairy on top of the Christmas Tree? Angels are on strike.
2. Why is the 26^th December known as Boxing Day in some countries? Disappointment over gifts leads to aggression. 
3. What would be the gifts from the Three Wise Men today? Tesla stock, a gold cellphone and tickets to a Taylor Swift concert. 
4. What is Hogmanay? It is one pig farmer. Yes.
5. How much is a monkey? It is just one.
6. Do crows crow? Yes. and cows caw.
7. Why do milking stools have three legs? The cowherd broke off the third to use in herding the cows in.
8. What is meant by perfect pitch? Three strikes.
9. Where will you find a palm tree? In your hand.
10. What is rolling stock? Cattle in a cattle car on a train or a stash of marijuana.

Illustration by Kisoulou on Unsplash

Here are my responses to Pensitivity’s Fibbing Friday.

1. Why was January chosen to be the first month of the year? All the other names for months were taken.
2. Why does the Chinese New Year not start until February? It takes longer for the New Year to get to that side of the world.
3. What’s the point of eating black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day? Hunger.
4. Why do we make New Year’s resolutions? So we have the pleasure of breaking them.
5. What will Santa Claus be doing now that Christmas is over? He’ll be eating black-eyed peas. 
6. According to tradition, in the Twelve Days of Christmas, the 1st day is Christmas, itself. So what is the 12th day known as? The last day of Christmas.
7. Why are so many of the gifts listed in the song, The 12 Days of Christmas, birds? There was a special on them at the pet store.
8. What earthly event marks when an angel gets its wings? Popeyes sells its BBQ Wings at a discount price. 
9. What happens on the Winter Solstice? The Winter Solstice.
10. How did the tradition of the Yule log originate? A really good salesman/con artist didn’t have a gift for the Xmas party host so just grabbed up a log as he passed through the woods and convinced them that this was a sacred tradition. Word spread.

Ava Gardner

1. What is a palava? She had quite a few.  Howard Hughes, Frank Sinatra, Ernest Hemingway, Mickey Rooney and Artie Shaw were some of the more famous ones. 
2. What is a pavlova? Dad’s fifth wife.
3. What is meant by purge? The irrepressible need  to urinate.
4. What is meant by purse? The poet Shelley’s first name. His second name was Bysshe.
5. What is a crash? The remains of a psychic after cremation.
6. What is a creche? Mr. Gueverra’s birthplace.
7. What is a symbol? Not exactly the seed pod of  cotton, but very close to it.
8. What is a cymbal? Not exactly a sphere, but very close to it.
9. What is lichen? Midway between a hatin’ and a lovin’.
10. What is a lychee? Guevera, when he is sheltered from the wind.

Here are this week’s Fibbing Friday questions. The theme this week is Say What?
Thanks to Forgottenman for not only remembering to remind me about Fibbing Friday, but for setting it up for me to answer. Now that is a friend!

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That time of the week again – Fibbing Friday!

1. What does HG represent on the Periodic Table? A Hemorrhaging Girl.
2. Which actress said “Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy night”? Ann-Margret in Stagecoach.
3. What is the coloured part of your eye called? A Black Eye.
4. Which is the currency of Laos? Laotian Loot.
5. Which book was about a band of rabbits? Bugs Bunny at the Symphony
6. Which mountain range separates France from Spain? The Great Divide or Divisadero
7. Which African country was once called Abyssinia? Actually, it was not a country.This is what Karen Blixen said when she moved “Out of Africa”
8. Which song did Paul McCartney write for John Lennon’s son? “Seanny Boy”
9. Which 1960s film finds an astronaut making his way through a strange and hostile environment? Moonstruck
10. Who wrote the Little Mermaid? Her Merman penpal.

This week’s Fibbing Friday prompts cover topics musical:

Familiar songs this week, but who do you think could do a ‘cover’…… it doesn’t have to be a singer, so use your imagination and creativity for the next chart topper………… or flop.

1. I am the One and Only. Donald Trump
2. These Boots are made for Walking. A duet by John Wayne and Puss in Boots.
3. Help Yourself. The British Empire.
4. Make me an Island. Simon & Garfunkel’s recording company. 
5. I want to know what Love is. Romeo & Juliet, another duet.
6. Penny Lane. Tom Waits (See illustration above.)
7. I Heard it Through the Grapevine. The notorious town gossip
8. I close my eyes and count to ten. Your mother, after issuing a command
9. Knock Three Times. Your hard-of-hearing mother.
10. Let me Entertain You. Taylor Swift