Category Archives: Humor

Last-Minute Menu Changes

Last-Minute Menu Changes

My ravenous cats lurk up on the roof
while my dogs all remind me in language of woof
that they’re hollow with hunger and rattled by need
of kibble and catfood to fulfill their greed
for something to fill up space found in their tummies:
chicken or beef or those jerky stick yummies.
Now the dogs rush the door in their need to be seen,
push open the glass door  and rattle the screen.
With a flicker of tail, they crash once and again
into the door screen ’til they have slipped in,
and both dogs and cats leap onto my bed,
shaming their mom, whose face has turned red
with embarrassment over the fact she forgot
to go shopping for food for the whole furry lot!
So I leap from my bed and run down the hall,
pursued by my dogs and my cats, one and all.
Run into the kitchen and throw open the door
of the fridge, then I spread out all over the floor
the food I’d intended to feed to a guest
whom I had invited with all of the rest
of his family to dine–the roast and the cheese
I had purchased because I knew it would please
all my guests–the potatoes and veggies and flan
and I watched all my animals lick every pan
until it was empty of every food scrap,
then they lay on the floor for an after-meal nap
while I wandered in and climbed into my bed
to try to decide what I’d feed instead
to those guests who’d arrive in just 4 hours more.
Then I dressed and departed to drive to the store
to buy frozen pizzas and ice cream and cake
out of which a quick meal I’d return home and make,
shooing out of the kitchen those pets now sedated
once their fierce hunger was finally  abated.
The floor now licked clean, it was one task the less
I’d have to complete. They’d cleaned up their own mess!
So I mixed up a salad and set a fine table
and completed the meal as best I was able.
Poured tequila, cooked pizza and uncorked the wine.
The guests were well-pleased and my pets lay supine
both on terrace and roof or snug in their beds
while visions of roast beef careened through their heads.
And lest you wonder, I’ll say one thing more.
I bought kibble and cat food while there at the store!

 

For the Sunday Whirl Wordle 751, the prompt words are: ravenous lurked shame space found glass hollow flicker rattled slip red crash

Writing a Poem for NaPoWriMo Day 3, 2026

For NaPoWriMo Day 3 we are to write a poem in which a profession or vocation is described differently than it typically is considered to be.

Easter Fibs For Fibbing Friday

For Fibbing Friday, Apr.3, 2026, the subjects to prompt our fibs are:

1. Why do we have Easter Eggs? Because we ran out of frozen waffles.
2. What makes a Hot Cross Bun? When we leave them in the oven for too long.
3. Why do we have a bunny at Easter? Because we ate the frozen turkey for Thanksgiving.
4. In which country did the Easter Bunny originate? At Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Estate in the U.S.A. 
5. How many decorative balls are conventionally on a Simnel cake? None. Each one is unique.
6.  What is a can? Just one of the dancers in a can-can performance.
7.  What is a can-can? The opposite of a can’t can’t.
8.  What is a cantaloupe?A girl locked into an ivory tower by her father.
9.  What is a canister? A storage container for one’s future to-do list.
10 . What is a candelabra? Extra support for more well-endowed candles in a candlestick.

 

Killer Clowns and Other Threats

 

Killer Clowns and Other Threats

Robot ghosts from outer space
are in the sky, then in your face.
They sat behind you once in school,
thinking all the world they’d fool,
but recently they have been outed,
so although formerly I doubted
action adventure s crazy plots
of giant creatures and evil bots,
recent events most grieveable
have made such things believable.

This orange devil we’ve elected
and all the buffoons he’s collected
make killer clowns from outer space
less scary than villains we face
day by day in our own world.
So let those forces be unfurled
to fight with him both tooth and bone
so he’ll leave our innocents alone!

Hope “springs” eternal, so I’m using this farcical response to the dVerse prompt this week, no matter how farfetched!!! The hats on the guys  in the UFO are supposed to read “Make Space Great Again,” but couldn’t get AI to cooperate. They came close, so have some of the ICE agents displaying their motto instead. Perhaps they have been in cahoots all along.

Silly Answers for Fibbing Friday

For Fibbing Friday, the assignment is: What do you make of these?

1. What is a skiff? A very poor ranking for a ski jump.
2. What is a liner? Art Linkletter’s half brother.
3. What is a ferry? The means by which a tiny mythical winged. creature is conveyed from shore to an island.
4. What is a destroyer? A puppy, up to the age of 1.
5. What is a cruiser? A party given for the employees of a cruise ship line.
6. What is a galleon? 4 quartes.
7. What is a pedlow? A trike for a very tiny child.
8. What is a kayak? A negative response to my middle name.
9. What is a schooner? A botched sneeze.
10. What is a coracle? The center part of a carbuncle.

A Culinary Confession for the Three Things Challenge.

A Culinary Confession

My kitchen is my “killer kit,” or so my husband thinks,
as warily he eyes his meal––main course, dessert and drinks.
He says he doesn’t blame me for my culinary lack,
because he didn’t marry me because I have the knack
to fry and broil and grill and roast
or even fail to burn the toast.
Yet I see him eye the knishes,
turkeys, pies and other dishes
served up by the other wives
who, wielding pans and spoons and knives
create dishes edible
as well as being bedable.
While I, though skillful in the sack,
their kitchen talents sadly lack.
So for years, we’ve had to make out
mainly on phone-in or take out!

Prompt words for the Three Things Challenge 375 are: killer, kit, kitchen. (Image created with help from AI)

“Breaking Her Diet” for Esther’s Writing Prompt

Breaking Her Diet

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Breaking Her Diet

I measure her cat food with care from the vat,
but she has such an aptitude, my little cat,
for flushing out lizards and others like that.
With delicate paw thrusts, she gives them a bat
’til they barely know where it is that they’re at,
then unleashes her claws for a more severe pat.

Be it lizard or bird or scorpion or rat,
she defeats it as though it were merely a gnat
and lays it out nicely on my front door mat:
one scorpion sting less or a feather for my hat,
then returns to the stool where she formerly sat,
licking her chops, and that’s why she’s so fat!!!

Esther’s Writing Prompt this week is “Break.” Nope, I’m not condoning such behavior…especially in regards to birds. Breaks my heart. The scorpions I can put up with, so long as she’s careful and doesn’t get stung.

Popsicle Etiquette

Popsicle Etiquette

Snap apart this summer sweetness and share it with a friend.
Or, before you finish, it will melt from end to end,
running down your hand and then half way up your arm,
and though you feel that arm-licking is part of summer’s charm,
the taste of cherry mixed with sunscreen resin isn’t fun,
as your rush to finish turns into a race against the sun.
So take your frosty passion and snap it into two
and ask a friend to partake of its lusciousness with you.
Then if you are lucky, your friend will buy one more,
break it apart and hand you half as you leave the store.

Word Prompts for The Sunday Whirl 749 are: taste summer sweetness snap rush half resin turn melts luck hand

For Fibbing Friday

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Photo made assisted by AI

For Fibbing Friday, this week our assignment is:

Music and song titles this week.
Who could have recorded these classics (doesn’t necessarily have to be a singer or even a real person)

1.  I want to know what love is? The Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz.
2.  Money, money, money. Donald Trump.
3.  Tea for Two. Samuel Adams and one of the Sons of Liberty during the Boston Tea Party.
4.  There’s a kind of hush. Sweet Charlotte 
5.  Take the Money and Run Bonnie and Clyde
6.  Time after Time. Elizabeth Taylor.
7.  Rock Around the Clock. Doris Day
8.  Windmills of my Mind. Donald Trump (Nightmares, actually.)
9.  Hang on Sloopy. A stunt pilot, to the stunt acrobat on the wing,.
10. It started with a kiss. Michael Corleone…or perhaps Fredo..in “The Godfather.”

More Friday Fibs

For Fibbing Friday the 13th, some of the word clues were difficult, to say the least, so be patient and sound them out with me, please!!!! (Illustration done by AI)

1.  What is a canopy? What you hand the lab assistant for your UTI test.
2.  What is a cookie? How the chef gets into the restaurant kitchen.
3.  What is a pup cup? A stinky chamber pot.
4.  What is a typhoon?  It is on a typed sheet of paper that requires correction.
5.  Why are nails sharp at one end? To enable them to scratch itches.
6.  What’s the difference between a chip and a fry? Both are beauty shop errors, but one is a faulty manicure and the other a faulty permanent.
7.  What is a shoe horn? A trumpet that signals a retreat during a battle.
8.  Why do spirit levels have bubbles? Because they are served with a carbonated mixer.
9.  Why do we have tea leaves but coffee grains? Because that’s the color mom wanted the eaves painted and because the housepainters spilled some of the brown paint from the walls onto the wheat plants in the window boxes. 
10. What is a diplomat? A judge at a diving competition.