Category Archives: Humor

Heart of the Matter for The Weekend Writing Prompt

Heart of the Matter

My family’s only easygoing when it isn’t moody,
and dealing with the moody times seems to be my duty.
If I were only liberated and in better shape,
I’d clamber out the window and down the fire escape
and find some other people easier to bear,
investigate the wider world and see how I would fare.
The solution to this problem you are likely to construe
if you interview my family, but I hope you never do,
for the truth is that the discord that you otherwise might see
is likely to have vanished when they’re not dealing with me!

 In case you are either related to me or only wondering–-Just kidding, folks!

The Weekend Writing Prompt is “Mood.”

 

Advice to a Poetry Critic

Advice to a Poetry Critic

Each poet worth her salt adores
well-appointed metaphors,
but when they step up to the mike,
similes they only like.
Before you discuss simile
consult an expert vis a vis
the difference between the two
so you will never have to rue
mislabeling your imagery.
Hyperbole is not allusion,
so don’t add to the confusion.
Synecdoche to oxymoron––
as you choose what to write more on––
get their names right for your reader.
There’s more to poems than rhyme and meter!

For dVerse Poets we were to make use of simile in a poem.
I fudged a bit and gave instructions as to its proper use!

For Fibbing Friday, Jan 30, 2026

The challenge for today for Fibbing Friday is:

1. What are florins, tanners and bobs? Different areas in a department store that sell linoleum, beauty products and haircuts
2. What is Dead Man’s Fingers? Numbness in the hands.
3. What killed the Triffids? Their super egos.
4. What’s the difference between a buck and a quid?  Bckqid.
5. How much is an old crown worth? It varies, depending on how many jewels it contains.
6. What can be known as a ‘Little Gem’? Anything under half a carat.
7. What is pearl barley? An American actress, singer, comedian and author.
8. Finish the sentence: ‘I came, I saw, I left.
9. Who said ‘Smile, it enhances your face value’? My dentist, after he saw my reaction to the bill he had just handed me.
10. Where on the human body is the zygomatic bone found? It is an area in your skull that is most affected when you over-imbibe in alcohol–causing you to walk in a zigzag pattern.

For Fibbing Friday, Jan 23, 2026

For Fibbing Friday, the task at hand today is formidable. Let’s see if I am up to it!!!

My English translations of German Words:

1. Verklempt  A German work injury.
2, Vittle A singular piece of food in Germany
3, Vuvuzela An illness brought about by excess celebration
4, Vexillology The study of stressful situations
5. Velociraptor A very fast flying dinosaur
6. Vamoosinator A milking machine
7. Vicissitude Vivian’s sister Tootie
8. Voce What  you use to talk
9. Vagary  A soup kitchen for unemployed wanderers
10. Verbose Your immediate superior at work

I created the illustration making use of AI

 

 

“Unfortunate Choices” for Can You Tell A Story In. . .

Peeking  out through the stage curtains, the comic realized he would be pirouetting on eggshells as he wrestled with syllables sure to displease this audience of militant women. He wished he’d checked out who his audience would be before choosing his topic. “Barefoot and Pregnant” was not going to win applause tonight!

need 6 words

For “Can You Tell A Story In…”  the task set is:

Can you tell a story in 52 words using the following words in it somewhere:

  • PIROUETTE
  • COMIC
  • EGG
  • WRESTLER
  • SYLLABLE

(Image by AI)

Canine Church

Canine Church

Two dogs to my right and one dog o’er my head
As I lie on the edge of my doggie-filled bed.
Now one moves to my legs to anchor me down,
fearing my desertion for kitchen or town,
banishing canines to cushions or yard––
beds they find  chilly and lonely and hard.

Better this bed warmed by blanket and sheet
and a mattress pad heater to thaw out their feet.
A mom they can cuddle or lie on, or heck––
tunnel into her armpit or under her neck.
These Sunday mornings, they insist that Judy’s
meditations with dogs are her spiritual duties.

Fibbing Friday

For Fibbing Friday, the task at hand is:
1. Who were Lennon and McCartney? A Russian Revolutionary and a man in a wheelchair
3. Who were Tom and Jerry? A fictional boy the size of a thumb and Dean Martin’s partner
4. Who were Dumb and Dumber? Dumbo’s twin sons
5. Who were Little and Large? Tinker Bell and Peter Pan
6. Who were Hinge and Bracket? Two singers in The Doors 
7. Who were Rodgers and Hammerstein? A cowboy singer/actor of the fifties and sixties and someone demanding another beer
8. Who were Laurel and Hardy? Olympic gold medal winners
9. Who were Calvin and Hobbes? A non-diet merlot and favorite activities one does in one’s spare time
10. Who were Barbie and Ken? A cowgirl famous for her fence-stringing skills and her family

Alluring, for RDP

DSC00089

An Aging Siren’s Lament

I once was alluring, bewitching and busty,
but now I’m decrepit, doddering and fusty,
making mountains of molehills and blocks out of chips
and adding them onto my thighs, calves and hips.

As I fall apart, I become more voluminous,
my eyes less dewy, my skin much less luminous.
I’m developing poorly, my aging less fine
than mellow old cheeses and whiskies and wine.

As my memory fades and becomes much less credible,
I’m less appealing and for sure less beddable.
I’m held together by trusses and braces,
Spanx and Ace bandages, spandex and laces.

Someone should just shoot me. (Botox, not a gun.)
I’d be more beguiling and have much more fun.
But diets are tedious. Shots must be painful.
Of all of these cures, I’m purely disdainful.

I guess I’ll age gracefully, sip from its cup
greedily, admitting I’m giving up.
I’ll simply sit here inert on my fanny
and trade in the title of sexpot for granny!

The RDP prompt today is “Alluring.”

The Red High Heels, For Writing Prompts, Jan 14, 2026

The Red High Heels

When I saw them in the store,
one half classy and one half whore,
the Crocs I had on seemed a bore.
Those heels were strappy, cut low, red.
I knew those heels would knock men dead.

As I left the store in them,
I was feeling oh so femme
until one shoe caught on my hem.
‘Twas then that I went tumbling down,
wrenched my ankle and tore my gown.

This fall was just a quirk, I thought,
with no regrets for what I’d bought,
for I was feeling oh so hot
that men would surely all be gawking.
I’d be more careful with my walking.

In Mexico, young girls or crones
go tripping over cobblestones
with no risk to their ankle bones.
Moving with sure-footed grace,
they never fall upon their face.

They chat as they cross streets together
even in inclement weather––
Their four-inch heels of strappy leather
negotiate each slippery rock,
barely noticing where they walk.

So I just got up from the floor
and sauntered once more towards the door
onto the street outside the store.
Where, once I got into the swing
I knew those shoes were just the thing.

My car was just one block away
but it was such a lovely day,
I thought that I would just sashay
up to the plaza for lunch and booze––
a trial run for my new shoes!

I belted up my dress a bit
so I would not trip over it.
Once more I felt sexy and fit
as I accomplished no small feat
negotiating each walk and street.

I must admit that I felt hobbled
as I walked over roadways cobbled.
Perhaps I grimaced, winced and wobbled.
But at the time, I was enthused––
thinking only of my new shoes.

When I reached the plaza and I walked by
a table of men, I felt each eye
peruse my legs from toe to thigh.
I knew that those new shoes were why
I held the gaze of every guy.

Maneuvering towards an empty table,
I walked as well as I was able,
but overlooked just one small cable
as I glanced over for their reaction.
That’s how I ended up in traction!

 

 

For Writing Prompts, the prompt is “Red.” Image by Kira Severinova on Unsplash

“Bride’s First Meal” for JustJoJan#26 “Rubbish”

Bride’s First Meal

It was a layered casserole of maize and squash and beans
whose contents were indigenous and well within her means.
She blanched and drained and layered in a glass loaf pan.
She followed all directions and plotted out each plan.

Dabbing on her favorite essence, she donned his favorite dress.
With the front door open, she didn’t have to guess
when he was walking up the lane and so she would be able
to greet him with a soulful kiss and dinner on the table.

But, her first endeavor she’d hoped would be delicious,
in fact was not ambrosial, but instead pernicious.
It seemed as though the entire dish might be having troubles
as it rose above its boundaries with ominous pops and bubbles.

In short,

These were the things that went amiss
after his entrance and their kiss.
She rued the day that dish was born.
The squash was tough, as was the corn.

Instead they went to Burger King
and ordered one of everything,
came on home and gorged on it,
so their first meal was quite a hit.

She pitched her failed attempt within
a nearby waiting rubbish bin.
She was smart and so good looking.
He didn’t wed her for her cooking.

For JustJoJan#26 the prompt is “rubbish.”