Category Archives: Humor

Attempted Humor, For Fibbing Friday, Aug 8, 2025

For Fibbing Friday, the task at hand this week is:

1. Which Monarch famously said ‘I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king.’ Well, easy.  DONALD TRUMP!!! (He lied about the heart part.)
2. What is the rarest blood type in humans? Blue Blood
3. Who wrote the novel Brave New World? Hiawatha
4. Which famous composer was deaf for much of his later life? Kurt Graunke–listen to his symphonies as proof.
5. What was the name of Rick’s nightclub in the movie Casablanca?  Fred
6. What is the world’s largest species of penguin? The PenGuinness. (It set a world record, don’t you know!)
7. Who was the first female Prime Minister of the UK? Clementine Churchill. (Winston’s puppet master.)
8. Which painter cut off part of his own ear?  August Macke the Knife.
9. What is the most widely spoken language in the world by number of native speakers? Nonverbal Communication
10. Who were the Axis Powers of WW2? The woodcutters.

Image by Sivani Bandaru on Unsplash.

I know. My answers, for the most part, are just awful. I hope someone does better than this….

“Some Advice for Touchers” for Esther’s Limerick Challenge

Some Advice for Touchers

Most people don’t mind a touch,
and though others may like it too much,
you have learned,  I am hoping,
when it comes to groping,
that no one is fond of a clutch.

 

 

for Esther’s “Laughing Along With a Limerick” Challenge:  Touch

The Couch Potato’s Creed for Word of the Day, Aug 4, 2025

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The Couch Potato’s Creed

Though he who hesitates is lost,
impetuosity has its cost.
You should look before you leap,
because still waters might run deep.
Though early birds might get the worm,
rash actions trip up the infirm.

So all-in-all I think it’s better
if you aren’t a go-getter.
I guess the moral to this tale
is lest you lose or lest you flail,
if you’re up against the proverbial wall,
it’s best you do nothing at all!

I’ve discovered an interesting fact about Morrie.  He frequently sleeps with his eyes wide open!  In the above photo, taken at the house I rent at the beach, he’s on the couch, which I’d put a sheet on so a visiting friend could sleep there, but I snapped the below photo one morning when he had usurped my bed as well:

 

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The boy knows how to make himself comfortable.

For Word of the Day: Couch

“It’s Mostly About Me!” For Fibbing Friday, Aug 1, 2025

These are funny phrases Pensitivity101 found on the internet and she admits to having no idea who said them, so who would you suggest as the speaker?

1. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.  “Some” wives––but of course not me!!!!
2. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.  Who has been reading my mind?
3. My diet plan: make all of my friends cupcakes, the fatter they get, the thinner I look. Who has been reading my diary? 
4. My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, it makes me cry. Mike Tyson.
5. You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example. Anyone, during the Covid-19 Epidemic. 
6. Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands. Wisdom taught to me by my mother, largely by example.
7. I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Albert Einstein.
8. My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch… I call it lunch. Anyone on a diet/exercise program.
9. Whoever said nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door. Anyone who voted for Trump.
10. I don’t sweat, I sparkle. Sparkle Plenty, during menopause. (If you don’t know who Sparkle Plenty is, you are much younger than “ME”!

Unfortunate License Plate Spotted in Billings, Montana

My sister Patti spotted this license plate in Billings, Montana in 2016. We think he must have meant it to read “Retired.” We both saw it as something else!!! Hopefully he has since changed his vanity plate. (That last letter is a “d” not an “o”.)

“Song of Mexico” for dVerse Poets, July 30, 2025

(And yes, if you were wondering, the skull is actually part of the helmet of a man driving by on his motorcycle!)

Canción de México
(Song of Mexico)

This small café sits on the square,
or rather the rectangle.
The gas trucks pass by, blaring “Gaaaaas,”
their grounding chains a-jangle.

Trucks and cycles lacking mufflers roar by every minute,
accompanied by the beat of bass drums
pouring out the windows of the passing cars,
drowning out the music they were meant to accent.

The guinea fowl make such a ruckus that they sound insane,
but to complain about the noise in Mexico’s inane.
The daily garbage trucks, the water truck and all the rest
all live by the assurance that what’s loudest is the best.

I drink my coffee, eat my muffin, try to grin and bear it;
but when she sets a napkin down, I grab at it and tear it.
And even though one part of me says that I shouldn’t dare it,
I use a bit to wipe my lips. The other part? I wear it!

I stuff a wad in either ear, and though I still hear all,
I go by the illusion that I hear it from afar.
Sometimes I feel the threat of age, so quickly it is nearing;
but if I lose one faculty, dear God, please make it hearing!

This song is in jest, for in truth, I love Mexico, even her sounds, for in spite of this poem, not all of them are loud. Go HERE to read another piece about the music of Mexico.

The prompt for dVerse Poets was to write a poem about music that is meaningful to me. Go HERE to read poems others wrote to this prompt.

“Plethora” for Weekend Writing Prompts #426

Plethora

It began with one that attracted another.
Whenever I bought one of them, it called out for a brother.
Now they stand in clusters around my living room,
my bedroom and my studio––everywhere they loom
observing and judging me, perhaps, for my excesses,
crowded upon table tops, ledges and recesses.
I admit I own a plethora of objets d’art––
irresistible objects with which I’ll never part

For Weekend Writing Prompts  (a poem or prose in 67 words on the word “plethora.”)

For Fibbing Friday, July 25, 2025

For Fibbing Friday, July 25, 2025 the task at hand is:

Who said/sang/wrote………………..

1. I want to break free. Melania Trump
2. No more the fool. Donald Trump, wishfully,when he was reelected,  but he was wrong!!!!
3. Food, glorious food. Anyone on a diet.
4. The Princess Diaries. Diana Spencer
5. The Name of the Game. Poker Alice
6. You can’t hurry love. Myrtle the Turtle
7. Kiss me Kate. Charles III and Spencer Tracy sang it in a duet
8. Catch a falling star. Concert crowd responding to  a Stage diving during a concert.
9. Absolute Power. Anyone experiencing misguided thoughts of capability after drinking too much Vodka
10. I’ll have what she’s having. Elizabeth Taylor, referring to Debbie Reynolds.

 

Capricious Defiance, for MVB, July 22, 2025

Capricious Defiance

Capricious Defiance

Lately I prefer my capers
to be read about in papers.
“Been there, done that,” is my motto.
I’ll get my thrills from  Bridge and Lotto.
Amorous adventures in the past,
I’ll choose thrills that tend to last
Scrabble played with friends online
is a pleasure most divine.
Checking out my blog statistics,
talking on the phone to mystics.
And I  challenge you to tell me what’s
more sensuous than chocolates!

For MVB: Defiant

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About lifelessons

My blog, which started out to be about overcoming grief, quickly grew into a blog about celebrating life. I post daily: poems, photographs, essays or stories. I’ve lived in countries all around the globe but have finally come to rest in Mexico, where I’ve lived since 2001. My books may be found on Amazon in Kindle and print format, my art in local Ajijic galleries. Hope to see you at my blog.

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For RDP: Defiant

“Fishless Chips” for SOCS, July 18, 2025

I received the below new lunch menu from a local restaurant :


A NEW
 LUNCH MENU is being offered from 11:00 am to 2:00 pm

  • Fish & Chips with Coleslaw
    Burritos ( Shrimp or Fish)
    Chimichangas (Shrimp or Fish)
    Tacos Shrimp or Fish
    Large Salad with  Shrimp

          This was my mental reply to their message:

          Fishless Chips

          Never have I had a wish
          for any kind of seafood dish––
          fillet of flounder or tuna knish.
          The only menu I find delish
          is piscine-free, served with a flourish.
          So if this bod you wish to nourish,
          just french fry spuds and skip the fish!

          The prompt for SOCS is “chip.”