Category Archives: humorous poem

Struth

Struth

The world is swathed in horror. It vacillates between
ridiculous pronouncements both uninformed and mean.
Truth seems to be moveable. We store it here and there,
but rarely in an orange creature with unruly hair.
It seems he has no access to lexicon or brain
as everything he says is impossibly inane.

 

Prompt words today are horror, vacillate, moveable, ridiculous and access. Photo on Unsplash, used with permission. 

Blue Monday

This poem was inspired by a misread line in Jan Wilberg’s Red’s Threads blog. What she said was, “Everything is very still here.” How I at first read it forms the last line of my poem, which also fulfills the dVerse Poet’s prompt of “Blue.” In place of one quadrille, the poem is actually composed of two quadrilles, the last line of one rhyming with the first line of the second:

Blue Monday

It’s not that I’m lonely. I’ve plenty to do,
and yet for some reason, I’m just feeling blue.
The thunder has stopped, though the night’s overcast.
The stars I saw three nights ago were the last
interrupting the dark that surrounds like a shroud.

Here I am still apart from the world’s rowdy crowd.
My dogs curled up in slumber, my cats in their bed,
all of my company curled in my head.
Alone in my house with familiar things near,
everything, everything’s still very here.

 

For dVerse Poets Quadrille prompt: Blue.

Film Legend

Film Legend

Once I was unstoppable, but now my moves are tentative.
My tones once sweet and wheedling have now turned argumentative.
My salad days gone limp, “cute as a penny” turned to brass,
people take as vitriol what once they saw as sass.
My image has been shattered. When I look in the mirror,
I prefer to view me far away instead of standing nearer.
I once was an ingenue with all the roles I wanted.
I faced the cameras brazenly, unfiltered and undaunted.
But now I find the only lenses on my face
are trifocals. The cameras? Gone without a trace.

 

Prompt words today are brass, tentative, unstoppable, benefit and shattered. Photos from Unsplash and other free sites.

Nervous Nibbling Prior to the St. Patrick’s Day Party

 

Nervous Nibbling Prior to the St. Patrick’s Day Party

I’ve secured the decorations and I’ve bought the party food.
I’ve put out all the shamrocks and soon the whole damn brood
will descend en masse for the St. Patrick’s celebration.
I fear that by the end of it I’ll need a small vacation.

Green salad and green curry, green bean casserole, green beer.
Every single  item of refreshment that is here 
seems to be of verdant hue. I’m finding it most shocking,
and soon there will be over-drinking and much over-talking.

Everyday on March 17th, I find it is the same.
If we run out of green cuisine, I am the one to blame.
Every other day of March, I’m totally secure.
It’s only the 17th day I find hard to endure.

This green ice-cream is melting and I fear it will be wasted.
It cannot last much longer. It’s a shame it’s gone untasted.
It looks so delicious. There are bowls there on the shelf.
Do you think it would be callous if I ate it all myself?

Words for the day are ice cream, callous, shamrock, secure and everyday.

Rainy Season Rag

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Rainy Season Rag

How can you be so cavalier
with so much lightning flashing near?
Do you not see? Can you not hear?
It’s raining harder. Have you no fear?
The dogs both circle, growl and peer.
This vigilance is their career.
They’re prodding you to move your rear,
Forsake your hammock. Grab your beer
and make a run. The house is near.
Vámonos ahora, my dear!

 

 

 

 

For the Weekend Writing Prompt: Cavalier in 64 words.

Fallen Star

Fallen Star

Is it love or obligation? I am driven to inquire.
It’s the sort of information that I’m not going to acquire
unless I ask you bluntly. He’s a noxious sort of fellow—
shriveled-up and cranky, and his fingernails are yellow!

He’s a worn-out western movie star, but  I swear his past
is not the sort of glamor that’s been shown to last.
Marry a guy for former fame? My dear, it isn’t groovy.
If you want to see him at his best, may I suggest a movie?

Prompts today are shrivel, acquire, obligation, noxious and western. Photo by Guillaume de Germain on Unsplash. Used with permission.

King of Fools


King of Fools

It’s a virtual world we sink into for fun
now that our worldly contact is done.
Facebook is our friendship and Skype our salvation,
Zoom our replacement for kids’ education.
It’s our succor in sadness, replacement for sport,
when others malign us, our means of retort.
Our childrens’ frondescence confined to Twitter,
how can they resist being surly and bitter?

We’re culpable, all of us, I must confess.
How could we let things get in such a mess?
Money our God and diverted by pleasure,
we sacrificed a more vital treasure,
giving up liberty, we were distracted
by a buffoon who reenacted
presenting reality just as a show—
impressing with posturing, bluffing and dough.

And those for whom books were replaced with a screen?
They couldn’t tell the difference between
what entertained and what was for real
and that’s how he managed to posture and steal
liberty—both on a scale that was national
making decisions stupidly irrational,
and our own liberty, now that we’re trapped
within our boxes, trussed up and wrapped

with only the foolish wandering round
making decisions, unmasked and unsound,
the dupes of a Mother who’s finally decided 
that all of these humans whom she has abided
for thousands of years are on their way out,
aided by their foolishness, without a doubt,
and by their leader, that king of all fools
who will bring down the world with his asinine rules!!!

 

Prompt words for today are frondescence, culpable, virtual, succor and sink. All photos thanks to Unsplash, used with permission.

Blackberry Balsam

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Blackberry Balsam

Blackberry Balsam, the scourge of my youth.
It was repulsive, my father uncouth
for presenting this mucous-like liquid most vile,
insisting I swallow the ghastly brown bile.
I gritted my teeth and went sullen and wild,

but how could I refuse? I was only a child.

Gagging and choking, I chased it with Coke,
expecting another dose when I awoke.
All these years later, its flavor unfaded,
its vomitous odor my memory invaded.
Blackberry Balsam? No taste could be worse,
proving sometimes the cure is worse than the curse.

Animal Nature

Animal Nature

She had a penchant for excitement but discretion was a must,
for how her family worried and how her family fussed—
fingers tearing hair and both palms shielding eyes.
Was bungee-jumping safe? Did she think sky-diving wise?

They’d have her clipping coupons and baking cherry pies,
so she only did her favorite things shrouded in disguise.
A person in a chicken costume jumping from a plane
might have been seeking notice, might have seemed inane

if the chicken ever took off her feathers or her mask.
If she ever answered the questions they might ask.
But she only shed her feathers once safely in her home,
arranging them with fingers and a broad-toothed comb.

Snow-boarding in her fox costume, she knew they’d never know
how she banged up her left elbow, fractured her little toe.
She’d said it was at tennis—that family-sanctioned sport,
as they happily imagined her on golf course or on court.

They found other sport unseemly, inappropriate at best
when associated with their spotless family crest.
Thus did she live her life according to her nature
while never bringing shame to her family nomenclature!

Words prompts for the day are: eyes, penchant, excitement, discretion and coupon. Illustration from Pinterest.

The Gift

The Gift

Once more you have defeated me with your machination,
for this gadget you have gifted me defies imagination.
Those tripartite metal arms are too small for much  lifting,
but too far apart to make use of in fine sifting.

The little barrel at the end resembles a munition,
but it does not match a firearm of any definition.
Is it a curling iron? Should I use it in my grooming?
If I plug it in should I expect a lethal booming?

Who knows if it was meant for betterment or sure destruction?
Such gifts are more appreciated when sent with instruction!
The layoffs at our company were no fault of my own.
I didn’t learn of yours until after you had flown.

The powers that be just acted without consulting me.
The charges that the fault was mine, in truth, are calumny.
I swear your firing was in no way due to my picking,
so please reclaim your gift before it ceases in its ticking!!!

Prompt words are layoff, gadget, imagination, tripartite and definition. Illustration thanks to Unsplash, used with permission.

tri·par·tite (I’d never heard the word before either, so here’s the pronunciation and definition:/trīˈpär’ˌtīt/ adjective  shared by or involving three parties.“a tripartite coalition government”consisting of three parts.“a tripartite classification.”)