Dark Thoughts
At four in the morning, the old cat begins her morning crabby high-pitched “wahhhhrrr.” The wind picks up and I go to pee. Open my laptop and with its very first light, a tiny beetle flies to the screen to wander back and forth, in search of what? Company or bugs even more miniscule? And where has it been in the interim? In what obscure corner of my world has it been waiting for light, like the old cat, barely able to restrain itself , seeking my company at my first sign of stirring?
Does the rest of the world wait for me like this, or is it death lurking in the shadows, waiting for its time? Has life slowed down to this one long communal waiting? My sick friend has left but leaves behind her some of her dejection. I cannot shake it. Return to it after each short departure into the world. I feel an eternity of the ills of the world around me. Optimist rebel in an enemy camp all my life, I now feel myself sinking into the ordinary world. My mood refuses to shift with the sunrise. Even the old cat, still unfed, leaves me alone to my dark mood.
I fear the power of sleep, not wanting to return to that half-remembered dream I woke from. Fear this new self I seem to be becoming. Suddenly, I fear eternity—feel it not my friend.
My 72nd Birthday highlights included a trip to the other side of the lake to scope out a site for our next writers’ retreat. Amelia drove Harriet and me over to the incredibly beautiful lakeside resort where they made us a deal we couldn’t turn down, so in November, eight of us will journey back for a lovely three days of writing under the tutelage of Judy Reeves, a wonderful workshop leader from San Diego, CA, who has been herding us together and getting us in line for three-day retreats for the past five years. The resort director treated us to breakfast and a tour. Only one other table was filled in the dining room–with a couple and their toddler son, who was kept busy with a ziplock bag full of tiny cars.
I left at 9:00 and was home by noon to survey the $60 worth of plants I had bought for my own birthday present to myself. I’d laid the main grouping of seven plants out for Pasiano to plant in my front garden in a large metal chest 30″ X 20″ X 22″ and left the rest of the zinnias, dusty miller and kalanchoe for him to plant as he wished. Here are the flowers I had arranged for him to plant:
And here is one of his arrangements of dusty miller and zinnias which I love:
At 2:30, Pepe came by for our usual Wednesday massage session. I worked on a story I’m doing for a local magazine, fed the canine and feline troops and was off to meet Sandy for dinner at 6.
When we arrived at the restaurant in Ajijic, a young couple with baby was sitting at the next table. Since I was facing them, I watched their interactions with interest. With this morning’s family that I had observed in the resort an hour or more away from Ajijic, the mother had spent most of the time dealing with the toddler, but I noted with satisfaction that with this family, the father was doing most of the care-taking. It wasn’t until they brought out a ziplock bag of tiny cars for him to play with that I realized it was the same family! What are the chances? Not only were we over an hour away from where we had last seen them, but out of the 100 or so restaurants in Ajijic, we had not only picked the same one again, but were at neighboring tables!
Soon another family took the table that formed a rectangle with our table and that of the young couple and their son. They had a little girl of about the same age. I noted how well-behaved she was and her doting parents and grandparents, but it wasn’t until the end of the meal when they brought out a plate of cupcakes with candles that I realized she, too, was celebrating her birthday! Earlier I had greeted the other family and noted I’d been at the same resort as them that morning for breakfast. Now I had to go over and ask the other family how old their baby was. When they said 2, I admitted that it was my birthday as well, but that I had 70 years head start on her. We chatted a bit and I returned to my table, but when they left the restaurant, they presented me with a cupcake to celebrate our mutual birthday. Very sweet, both the action and the cupcake. Here is my friend Sandy who treated me to my birthday dinner with the cupcake which she insisted I take home, which I did, and that I have since enjoyed:
Thanks for all the good wishes from present and long-ago friends. A lovely, laid-back casual birthday. xoxoxoxo
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Click to enlarge, then click to turn pages. Marilyn’s article is featured in the table of contents and is found on page 42.
Cee’s prompt was to post photos of letters and numbers. Letters were the easiest to come by, but there are a few numbers in there as well. Click on photos to enlarge.
https://ceenphotography.com/2019/07/02/cffc-letters-numbers/
Gloria’s back in her own home now but still doing her homework assignments. I’m still sharing! As usual, click on photos to enlarge.
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lifelessons - a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown 