Tag Archives: Satire

Shelled Sanctity


Shelled Sanctity

This retreat for turtles in the mountains of Nepal
has the godliest turtles on our Earthly spinning ball.

See the holiest of holies in their tiny saffron robes,
doing daily meditations by pushing tiny globes

first eastward and then westward with a pointed beak,
defining piety by actions instead of how they speak.

See lurking in the shadows, a million tiny ants,
bending low to watch their passing, those tiny sycophants—

who profess to kiss the ground that the turtles walk upon,
but instead just make use of the paths they’ve made when they are gone.

Busy small collectors, they build layer upon layer
of food to nourish bodies, but murmur not a prayer

in thanks for what they’re given, for they know right well
proper thanks is being given by the Brothers of the Shell.

 

Prompts today are lurking, define, saffron, satirical, godliest, turtles and sycophant.

“Comeuppance Rears Its Ugly Head–Again!”

“Comeuppance Rears Its Ugly Head–Again!”

I’ve an issue with these prompts that give us words that are obscure.
Any more weird words will be more than I can endure.
I yearn for words more ordinary so my poem can shine.
Shame on you for choosing words that stand out above mine

like a boil on proboscis or a zit on a smooth cheek.
A prompt word should suggest a theme, but never prompt an “Eeeek!”
A prompt word should strike lightning but not burn down all the trees.
Think before you prompt, dear friends. No more “comeuppance,” please!

* “Comeuppance” has been the prompt word for two of the four prompt sites I use in the past week and one suggested it twice, withdrawing the earlier prompt after I’d already written my poem, so I rewrote the line, thankfully, only to have the word pop up a few days later in another prompt site, then again in this one a few days later! Now, if you want to see “comeuppance” for a fourth time, click on the link for “obscure.” I hereby give the word its own comeuppance by means of this poem.

Prompt words today are lightning, issue, obscure and yearn. Illustration thanks to DP on Unsplash. Used with permission. 

Tweeting Kim Kardashian

Tweeting Kim Kardashian

I recall that picture, but you’ve modified it some.
I fear it’s rather naughty to photoshop your bum!!!

Prompt words are recall, picture, modify and naughty. Here are the links:

https://fivedotoh.com/2019/04/14/fowc-with-fandango-recall/
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/14/rdp-sunday-picture/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/14/your-daily-word-prompt-modify-april-14-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/14/naughty/

El Raton Cat Food Motivational and Dispersal System

Click on photos to increase size. If photos are not sharp at first, please wait a moment to allow for focusing.

If you are following my development of a totally unique new concept in cat food based on the cat’s own preferences, you’ve already seen the rationale HERE and HERE.  A suggestion by Forgottenman in the comments of that post has led to my improvement of his suggestion. Namely, a feeding dish on the back of a windup mouse that will cater to a cat’s natural proclivity to pursue his quarry. This system ties into a cat’s wild nature, turning a feline turned domestic once again into a hunter/huntress.  Watch your cat’s appetite turn from finicky to ravenous as it gives way to the spell of wild game gained in a wild pursuit. (Flavors available in mouse, rat, squirrel, garter snake and cockroach. Further motivational dispersal systems will soon be available compatible with all of the flavors.)

 

Disclaimer: Fancy Feast does not indeed make a “Mouse” flavored cat food. I have altered and used their can design only as a means to illustrate my earlier poem. This is a joke, folks!!!!

“The Fix”

“The Fix”

–a difficult or awkward situation from which it is hard to
extricate oneself; a predicament.
“how on earth did you get
into such a fix?”
predicamentplightdifficult a, difficult situation, awkward
situation, spot of trouble, bit of bother, corner,
ticklish/tricky situation, tight spot
–a dose of a narcotic drug to which one is addicted.
   “he hadn’t had his fix.”

Although you assure me you are strictly on the level,
your very need to do so makes me think you are the devil.
I find your ethics tenuous, they’re there and then they vanish.
Your motives start out lily white but end up rather tannish.
You’re fine at razzle-dazzle. You expertly shoot the breeze.
You flatter and finagle, you smile and flirt and tease,
but have you really done the job or were you merely acting?
Is your expertise for real or merely reenacting
what you saw in movies or surveyed on the TV?
Has fiction finally managed to replace reality?

Did you get your medical knowhow from college texts you’ve read,
or learn your bedside manner viewing Chicago Med?
Do you really know the way to set a joist or beam?
Can you really hem a skirt or sew an even seam?
Do you know how to fix my brakes, change oil and do a lube
or did you merely look it up last night on You Tube?
TV is our Bible and whatever we may view
becomes the thing it is okay to become or do.
We put our idols in office, be they hero, fool or rogue.
What is most entertaining becomes what is in vogue.

Why has the world fallen into this state of dereliction?
Simply because we cannot—distinguish fact from fiction!!!

The words of the day are dazzle, tenuous, breeze and level. Here are the links:
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/08/rdp-monday-dazzle/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/04/08/fowc-with-fandango-tenuous/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/08/your-daily-word-prompt-breeze-april-8-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/08/level/

The NaPoWriMo prompt today was to write a poem based on a slang word or phrase or acronym specific to a certain job. Hmmm. That’s a corker!!! Mine seems to work on so many different levels lately, but particularly when it comes to politics.

An Ode to the Annoyingly Ebullient

* jdbphoto

An Ode to the Annoyingly Ebullient

Her ebullient nature sometimes seemed a little cloying.
Others less endowed with cheer could find it most annoying.
It seemed that her ambition was to slipcover the earth
with a shell of levity—a monologue of mirth.
That others didn’t seem to have her appetite for humor
based on romance serials and hearsay and on rumor
didn’t seem to faze her. Her allusions’ rarity
coupled with her seeming lack of storytelling clarity
fazed her not a bit. Though no one else seemed to be buying it,
she kept on unrelentingly with her “pie in the sky” ing it.

 

But, there is hope. Click on the below arrow to learn more:

 

Prompt words today are ebullient, ambition, clarity and appetite. Here are the links:

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/01/09/rdp-wednesday-ebullient/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/01/09/fowc-with-fandango-ambition/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/01/09/your-daily-word-prompt-clarity-january-9-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/01/09/appetite/

A Misanthropic Anti-Creed

 

Version 2

The assignment was to write a 6-line alphabet poem that started each line with a letter of the alphabet in a 6-letter sequence.  I.E. abcdef, qrstuv, etc.  Being a creature of excess, I used the entire alphabet, forwards and backwards, ending with a final Z to boot, since the title began with an “A.”  Please note that this is the cynical rant of a misanthrope—not necessarily my own view.  And this is the only photo I could find in my album that smacked of high society.  Actually, it’s a photo of me and my date for the junior prom.

A Misanthropic Anti-creed

After all is said and done,
brotherhoo is not much fun.
Cliques are just a machination
Dumbing down imagination. 
Each misanthrope must find his own
Final method to disown
Galas thrown to feed the poor
Hawking excesses they abhor.
In jewels, ladies you could die of,
Jostling to catch the eye of
Kings of minor countries or
Lords who are the things of lore.
Meanwhile, gents in tux and tie
Nod to try to catch the eye
Of that next lady in Dior
Possessed of means to feed the poor.
Quickened now, they move to kill,
Ready to restore their till.
Society’s main charity
Trying for a parity
Under the understanding that
Verisimilitude is boring.
What’s important is just scoring
Xcess being all the norm
Yielding to those who most conform.
Zero, then, goes to the poor.
You must admit, they are a bore.
Xtravagence is what they come for.
Widows they won’t waste a crumb for.
Very likely that the starving
Urgently needing  this feast’s carving
Taste not one small bite of it,
Still hungry now in spite of it.
Rich charity spends what’s allowed on
Quality that draws the crowd on.
Pheasant under glass costs more.
Only beans left for the poor. 
Not a charitable hope
Mars ponderings of our misanthrope.
Let not one charitable thought
Knit his brow.With doubts it’s fraught.
Jarring thoughts are all he thinks
In between ironic winks.
Hear well the stories he might tell—
Gory threats of burning hell
For that well-heeled society
Eating up the profits of
Doubtful fund raisers of love.
“Charitize” to feed the poor,
But really serve their own needs more.
Ask the misanthrope at the door.
Zero is left to feed the poor!!!!

The dVerse Poets prompt is to write a 6 line alphabet phone, using 6 letters in sequence to begin lines.  Here is the link: https://www.blenza.com/linkies/links.php?owner=dversepoets&postid=12Sep2018&meme=12493

Sour Grapes from a Pissed Rhyming Poet

Sour Grapes from a Pissed Rhyming Poet

I fear this world of prompts has gotten slightly out of hand
and so their choice of prompt words is likely to be panned.
Antediluvian? Come on!!! Who uses that strange word?
It best describes itself. In modern usage, it’s absurd.
Please give us words that help us, not vocabulary puzzles.
We need words that lead like leashes and not creative muzzles!!!!
Do not try to impress us with obscure nomenclature.
I don’t care about their backgrounds. I don’t care about their nature.
Give me conglomerations of letters that I know,
and not these fancy words that seem simply meant for show!!!!
In short, I’m pissed because I do not like “antediluvian”
which only seems to rhyme with hard to use words like Peruvian!!

 

This prompt sort of threw me for a loop, so instead of just giving up and going on to a different prompt, I decided to write a gentle protest, meant in fun.. The Ragtag prompt today is antediluvian. 

Quelling Rebelling: NaPoWriMo 2018, Day 20


Quelling Rebelling

Rebelliousness is not my choice.
I do not like to raise my voice.
At meetings, if I choose to go,
I like to frequent the back row.
I don’t sit in. I do not picket.
Resistance is a sticky wicket.
Not for me the protest march.
I’m missing nerve. I lack the starch.
So if I choose to be a hellion,
I’ll find a way that’s not rebellion.

 

The prompt: write a poem that involves rebellion in some way. (This is tongue in cheek. I actually did march in this demonstration.)

Dim Prospects

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Dim Prospects
(A Hyperbolic Modest Proposal)

We’re blotting the sun out and dimming the stars
with furnaces, factories, wildfires, cars.
With overproduction causing glut after glut,
it seems our improvements are anything but.
Man’s once-shiny future is now looking dim,
and he’s pulling the whole planet under with him.
Fires and hurricanes, tsunamis and quakes,
rampaging hillsides and drying-up lakes
are messages sent that the earth’s fighting back—
giving us warnings of things out of whack.

When fat cats in limos and thousand buck suits
have usurped all the seeds and kept all the fruits,
and all of their products are made by machines,
three dimensional copiers making our jeans,
our autos, appliances, organs and cars,
our TVs and glasses, our bikes and guitars,
we’ll all need welfare—mere motionless blobs
once they have “teched” away all of our jobs.
And since welfare is something that they’ve soundly booed,
what will the masses do for their food?

Where will we sleep once all of the money
all of the milk and all of the honey
is in the pockets of those gazillionaires
cushioned away in their billion-buck lairs?
Keeping a few of us here on the scene
to garden and cook for them, to serve and clean,
they’ll let unwashed masses starve in their cots
and buy from each other their trillion dollar yachts
And perhaps they’ll be happy with what they’ve created:
machines making products ’til their needs are sated.

Now that they’ve purchased our ship of state
and made it their own, it seems that the fate
of unlucky millions who’ve gone overboard
for lack of the medicine they can’t afford
is nothing to them, for not one of them cares
how any common citizen  fares.
Lest we riot against them out of our need
for money for food they’ve usurped in their greed,
issue guns to the populace. Let us dispense
of  these unneeded masses. To them, it makes sense!

The prompt word today is dim.