Tag Archives: Silly Poems

Weekend Regression: Prompts, July 25, 2022

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Weekend Regression

On Friday night I imbibe ’till I’m jolly,
but such jubilation I’ve found is sheer folly.
Infatuated with letting off steam,
I raise up a glass with the rest of the team.

After Saturday night I have energy left,
but by Sunday night I’m worn out and bereft.
Weekends are fun-filled and rowdy and timeless,
but by their end we are blown-out and dimeless.

I realize this statement is rather reductive,
but weekends, I’ve found, are counterproductive.
Monday mornings I’m frowzy, Tuesday, not much better,
not ’till Wednesday or Thursday in finer fetter.

Ready to gear up for more Friday fun,
and a whole weekend in which to run
reckless and feckless and feeling the perks
of two whole days in which nobody works!!!!

 

Prompts today are.: left, infatuated, sheer, counterproductive, timeless, frowzy,

Restorative Rhyme

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Restorative Rhyme

When life gets too busy and I wish that I had wings
to get me free from obligations and off to greater things,
away from lists, committees and everything that’s pending,
everything that in the modern world seems to be trending,
I fly off in my thoughts instead and write a silly verse
in words I put together, absurd and even worse.
And yet in its reciting, somehow it’s rehabilitating,
wiping out those serious thoughts that were debilitating.

Prompt words are: wings, trend, great, debilitating and busy.

Expired!!!!

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Forgottenman said I have to write a birthday poem, so here it is:


Expired

I will not curb my inhibitions, and so I will not sail
off on new adventures out beyond the pale.
That powerful compunction to be off on an adventure,
ever after, I declare to have my sincere censure.

Apathy is my new creed. I simply do not care
to meet with any challenges or answer any dare.
I’ll gaze upon my garden and watch its petals fall
and when faced with challenges? Reject them one and all.

I’ve officially retired. I’m taking up TV.
I’ll sit here eating popcorn, a cat upon my knee.
I’ll make up for a lifetime of my lack of viewing
and rail against what all the youngsters of today are doing.

I’m done with being active and current and involved.
I’ve lost my former need for being current and evolved.
Forget that I exist and let me moulder in my den.
I’m both used up and giving up on all that I have been.

Three-quarters of a century’s enough for being me.
Now I will investigate what else there is to be.
I’ll expire before the date that I am due for expiration,
and simply coast along for the rest of my duration.

(Don’t worry. It is meant tongue-in-cheek.)

Prompt words today are sail, apathy, powerful, suppress and petals.

A Cherry Perfect Birthday

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A Cherry Perfect Birthday

Tomorrow we will celebrate my sixth year jubilee
with a little party just for my family.
Grandma’s going to catentate
cherries and lard and flour
and add a bit of sugar to make the fruit less sour,
then proceed to put it in the oven to cook up
into my favorite cherry pie upon which we will sup.
Thus will fruit and grain and fat conspire to create
a birthday treat the thoughts of which make me salivate.
Birds may like cherries in the wild directly off the tree,
but baked into my grandma’s pie tastes way better to me!!!!

Prompts for today are: jubilee, proceed, pastry, catenate (to join together), bird and grain.

Pink Lights and Tequila

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Pink Lights and Tequila

She met him in a barroom. His first contact was a wink,
and their time of courtship was over in a blink.
She didn’t note his platitudes and chauvinistic thinking.
That’s what comes from being wooed when a girl’s been drinking.
The impact of tequila shots has done in more than one girl,
making one who’s ordinary seem to be a fun girl.

A current ran between them. Rainbows issued from the lights,
giving a pink glow to cheeks and lower sights.
Thus did soft lights and alcohol add to their delight.
She seemed to him a princess. He seemed to be her knight.
They wed just six months later and divorced within a year.
Sparks ignited in the tavern fizzle out in life, I fear.

Prompts today are rainbow, impact, platitude, current, chauvinist and pink.

Culinary Taboos

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Culinary Taboos

Hot dogs, tacos, ham on rye
are the ways that I get by.
I don’t like caviar on toast,
and what I really hate the most
are liver, tripe or heart or brains.
These are the things my taste disdains.
I cannot masticate and eat
These things that, think, digest or beat.
The height of what my mouth deplores,
they’re  what my stomach most deplores.
And it has never been my habit
to eat lamb or veal or rabbit,
possibly because it gets
me thinking about former pets
and liaisons with baby creatures
that were very frequent features
in a childhood wherein we
sheltered a menagerie
of magpies, bunnies, kittens, rabbits
that fulfilled my parents’ habits
to collect those orphaned things
that often life presents and brings
to those who notice what is needed
by those abandoned or defeated..
Zippy, Fluffy, Tiger, Poo
were the names of just a few
babies that became our peers
within our formative years,
which is  why I still dispute
eating things so young and cute.
But reasons that I do not eat
any fish or organ meat? 
The answer is succinct and easy.
They just simply make me queazy!

True story? Yes, we really did have a baby raccoon named Zippy and all of these other orphaned animals brought home from the ranch by my father and raised like her own kids by my mother.
And yes, this poem rambles a bit, but for Pete’s sake, look at the prompt words!! Not complaining, just explaining….And that is Zippy up there as an illustration not of a possible cuisine choice, but he was one of our orphaned animal adoptees.

Prompts today are zippy, possible, rye, liaison, height and shelter.

Grandpa’s Solo Visits

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Grandpa’s Solo Visits

It’s mysterious how the volume of our cereal goes down
whenever Grandpa chooses to visit in our town.
Without Grandma’s influence, his willpower is zilch
and so he takes this opportunity to filch
our Coco Puffs and Captain Crunch and other cereal,
for he likes a little crackling in his morning meal
along with all the sugar, ‘cuz he swears it puts some zip
in his faltering “get-along” and soothes his aching hip.
None of us tell Grandma, because once he has his fill,
when we all go out for ice cream, Grandpa picks up the bill!!!!

Prompts today are: volume, cereal, mysterious, filch, influence and crackling. Before you ask, this is pure fiction. Sadly, I never had a grandpa. They both died before I was born. If I’d had one, though, I wish he’d been like this grandpa.

Panegyric for Pachyderm: NaPoWriMo 2022, Day 11

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Panegyric for Pachyderm

Which one among us says I can’t
eulogize an elephant?
Oh thou of ears floppily gray,
of thee I have so much to say.

Words invented will not do.
I have to coin new words for you.
Your skin, in fact, is so abundant
that I must call you epibundant.

And other words unbunkable?
Tuskidopherous and trunkable.
Unchallenged monarch of the zoo,
parades aren’t complete without you.

Your trumpet fills the savanna air
to tell the world that you are there.
Rip Van Wrinkle might better name
thee, monarch of the great untame!

And though by any other term,
loxodonta or pachyderm,
we do not know thee quite as well.
in size and fame, you still excel.

 

For NaPoWriMo Day 11, we are to write a poem about a very large thing. And yes, that is me on the back of that elephant!

Early Release

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Early Release

He barely saw the morning view, he was in such a pother.
He skipped his juice and pancakes. He simply couldn’t bother.
Today no one could find a way to dispel his grief.
His nervousness was clear to all. He couldn’t find relief.
His summer bliss was over. The truth blatantly cruel
as his worst fears came true at last with the first day of school!
He dragged his book bag in the dust and lagged behind the others.
He’d be out at the fishing hole if he had had his druthers.
Pencils his ma had sharpened, he broke against the wall,
so when he had to write things down, he’d have no way at all.
He used his brand new ruler to pry up stones and rocks
to catch red ants and spiders to tie up in his socks.
He caught a lizard just before it zipped under a log,
and put it in his pocket with a field mouse and a frog.
So when he got to school he’d have ample ammunition
to bring the brand new school marm to a sure state of contrition
for imprisoning them all inside on such a nice fall day,
and school would get out early if he had his way!

Prompt words for today are grief, nervous, pother and morning view.

How to Mend a Broken Heart (For Stream of Consciousness Saturday)

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How to Mend a Broken Heart

Pop a really big bowl of popcorn.
Don’t think of calories.
Just ignore the old maids in the bottom––
this is not a fortune-telling experience.
Lots of butter.

Locate chocolate.
If none is to be found,
there is likely a 7-11 within driving distance
no matter where you happen to be.
Get the biggest bar.
A bite of popcorn, then a bite of chocolate.

Locate an old Ma and Pa Kettle movie somewhere online and watch it.
Ma Kettle is you in ten years if your love affair had worked out.
Pa Kettle is who your lover would have turned into.

Find an old Sophia Loren movie online and watch it.
Sophia Loren is who you are now.
Don’t worry about the popcorn.
Sophia Loren wouldn’t.

Imagine Paul Newman eating popcorn
off your bare back.
Flip over.
Flash on making love to Pa Kettle.
Quickly flash back to Paul Newman
now eating popcorn off your bare shoulder blade.

Imagine your ex in a movie theater
watching Paul Newman make love to you
up there on the big screen.
Don’t worry about who your ex is with.

Well, maybe just one little peek.

Your ex is with Ma Kettle!

(If you don’t know who Ma and Pa Kettle are, go HERE.)

The prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “How?”