Category Archives: Humor

Trump is part of God’s plan to quell overpopulation of the Earth. They’ll start with liberals, first!

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Trump is part of God’s plan to quell overpopulation of the Earth. They’ll start with liberals, first!

Is RFK Sr. Spinning in His Grave?

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Had to repost this cartoon sent to me by an old college friend. Thanks, Gunars!

Rhymed Rants of an Expat in Mexico (for SOCS) Apr 5, 2025

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Rhymed Rants of an Expat in Mexico
(Why you should never drink tequila when you haven’t finished your SOCS poem yet.)

Toss in the tequila
ice cubes and a lime.
Put it in a blender
and mix it for a time.

Put salt on your glass rim.
Pour the liquid in.
Take a little sip now.
Drinking’s not a sin.

If I hadn’t had two
with my evening meal,
I’d be writing verse now
you could take for real.

But Margarita got me
and holds me prisoner now.
I couldn’t engineer a poem.
I can’t remember how.

If you’ve a mind to scold me,
please don’t do it now.
I need to write something
to stay true to my vow.

There are laws against drunk driving
and driving while you’re stoned,
but nothing that forbids you
from writing when you’re zoned.

So please forgive this sad and
paltry little rhyme.
They need to make drunk writing
A misdemeanor crime.

To save you from the souls like me
who dare to take up pen,
disregarding just what
condition they are in.

You should give us pillows
and send us to our beds.
Remove our clothes, take off our shoes
and pat us on our heads.

Tell us that tomorrow
will be another day.
But now, for sure, the writing
we should put away.

Lock up our computers,
hide our ball point pens.
Throw away our pencils
in the garbage bins.

Please try to divert us
and help us to forget
so there will be no errant
verses to regret.

When we wake tomorrow,
we’ll hold our heads up high
with no embarrassing poetry,
no need to wonder why.

We posted here such drivel
that it could make one weep.
We just kept on writing.
We should have been asleep.

We did it for our SOCS prompt
against out better sense.
The late hour made us silly.
Tequila made us dense.

Tomorrow we’ll make up for it––
put bees within our bonnet
and write an ode, a ballad,
a haiku or a sonnet

Once more you’ll dare to call us friend
and read our royal rhyme.
I don’t know why I’m calling me
“we” all of this time.

I really don’t feel royal.
My identity’s not split.
I simply started writing
and “we” just seemed to fit.

I can’t seem to finish
this awful little rhyme.
So I’m just going to have to
stop and holler TIME!!!

The SOCS prompt is pat.

Silly Answers for Fibbing Friday, Apr 4, 2025

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For Fibbing Friday  this week’s questions are:

1. Who made the first manned hot air balloon? Mary Anne MacLeod Trump (Donald’s mother)

2.  Which is the more widely used around the world, cow’s milk or goat’s milk?  It depends on what you are using it for.

3.  What does the word “Canada” mean? It means “can be done.” They chose it over the statement of the first French explorer who, when asked to cross a river, said, “No cana do.”  

4.  True or False, an adult male baboon can kill an adult leopard? It can, but just because it can doesn’t mean it will.

5.  Which U.S. State has the nickname “Hawkeye”? Maine, in honor of Hawkeye Pierce, whose birthplace was Crabapple Cove, Maine. (Check it out.)

6.  In which decade of the 19th Century did Christmas Day become a national U.S. holiday? the “Decade of the boughs of Holly”

7.  Which strong cheese, made from ewe’s milk and stored in caves, is named after a village in France?  Cheez-its

8.  Who painted “Whistler’s Mother”? A 4-year-old Whistler, when he got into her makeup while she was sleeping and tried to make up her face, somewhat excessively, I might add. It took her hours to scrub off the makeup.  She was not pleased and spanked him soundly.  Years later he tried to compensate by painting her portrait. She forgave him.

9.  In Denmark they are known as “laks” what are they known as in English? Something to put on bagels.

10.  Approximately what percentage of humans are left-handed? The remaining percentage that isn’t right-handed.

 

 

Some Upbeat Thoughts, and Don’t We All Need Them?

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I just discovered this blog, “Sea Dreams and Time Machines” by Meg Winikates and so far I love everything I’ve read.  This piece echoes my sentiments exactly: https://mwinikates.com/2024/11/07/a-billion-brilliant-stars/

And here are two poems I love as well:

Who Stole Santa’s Boot? (Contest Entry)

and one more poem by the same person.
https://mwinikates.com/2024/10/29/halloweensie-contest-entry/

Hope you enjoy her writing as much as I have.

Goblins for RDP Saturday Prompt: Tiptoe, Mar 29, 2025

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Goblins

They steal into town to pillage and croon,
Invading on tiptoe, every third moon.
With fiery red hair and warts on their noses,
they cut all the tulips and pee on the roses.
Venting belches that reek of porter and scallions,
they chase all the ladies in randy battalions
and press scaly lips on unwilling misses
who scamper away to wipe off their kisses.
But still the next morning, their sickly taste lingers
on unlucky lips and unfortunate fingers
of girls who’ve attempted to purge these advances
that with lecherous hobgoblins pass for romances.
So all ye young maidens take heed of this warning.
Put off your wanderings until the morning!

For RDP Saturday Prompt: Tiptoe

Awesome, For SOCS

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Awesome

There was a time when awesome really meant ”inspiring awe”—
events like the moon landing that made one drop one’s jaw,
sights of numbing beauty or achievements of great skill,
art pieces by the masters or achievements of great will.

Yosemite is awesome and so is Everest.
Those climbing it are “awesome.” I admit they are the best.
But today the word has fallen into widespread use—
ubiquitous right to the point where it’s become abuse.

Rap music is awesome, as is that way-cool blouse.
You drive an awesome car and live inside an awesome house.
My neighbor’s beau is awesome. So are her dog and cat.
Her garden blooms are awesome, like her new purse and hat.

You might have guessed by now that awesome’s not my favorite word.
I think the overuse of it is frankly quite absurd.
This pizza is not awesome, though you may find me petty
for saying it is merely good, and so is the spaghetti.

Your child is lovely, so’s your dress, your silverware and smile.
But none of them are awesome—that word brings up my bile.
Please use some other word for it—some adjectival jaw full.
Because in my opinion, using awesome’s simply awwful!!

Not Awesome

Since the SOCS prompt is awe/aww! I believe it justifies running this poem by you one more time.

For Fibbing Friday, Mar 28, 2025

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For Fibbing Friday the challenge is:

1. Verisimilitude: The tendency of adolescents to indulge in fads.
2. Grikes: Threatening squeals of astonishment.
3. Clints: What they will call cloned Eastwoods.
4. Kamenitza: What Russians call someone shooting a movie. 
5. Rillenkaren: An annoying female mountain climber.
6. Cockalorum: How a rooster keeps track of when to crow.
7. Dongle: The future tense of dingle.
8. Fartlek: A Hungarian who has just released gas from his/her body.
9. Folderol: What a female contortionist is able to do.
10. Furphy: A dog rental fee.

 

 

Overdone Quinceañera for dVerse Poets, Mar 21, 2025

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ddvers

Overdone Quinceañera

She’s framed in a portrait that’s slightly off-center
wearing a fur stole her sister has lent her.
Her chin on her hand, jewels on finger and wrist,
she’s trying to hide that she’s never been kissed.
Just a teenager, she’s longing for glory,
trying to add romance to her story.
Though she looks mature, she is new to the scene.
Time enough for such glamour when she is sixteen!

 

 

An Ekphrastic poem for dVerse Poets  Open Link

Some Poultry Answers, for Fibbing Friday, Mar 21, 2025

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For Fibbing Friday, the task at hand is: Have some fun with dreaming up who these ‘familiar people’ were or what they could be remembered for (or whatever your mind comes up with).

1.  Perseus. A handbag designer
2.  Ares  Where they stashed the Native Americans (Naughty, naughty)
3.  Achilles  A Mexican restaurant
4.  Poseidon  King of flowers
5.  Medusa An American-based Health coverage organization.
6.  Athena Where you can usually find the best eggs. If not available, try at hen b.
7.  Hades  What Lucille Ball’s  response to her husband was when he told a good joke.
8.  Apollo  A poultry hero
9.  Cronos  A petition to make raising poultry in urban areas illegal
1o. Hermes His response when she asks him to clean up the kitchen after she has finished cooking.