Tag Archives: silly poem

Detente in the Animal Kingdom

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Detente in the Animal Kingdom

The queen of hippopatamuses feels a bit perplexed
for she crossed the hyenas and now she has been hexed.
They’ve jinxed her favorite swimming hole so she has to swim
in a muddy tiny pond with crocs around the rim.

When she lumbers from the pond to have her usual binge
on grass, her favorite supper, she feels a little twinge.
It seems like in the puddle where she most recently sat,
waddling through the bottom mud, dragging all her fat,

she must have nudged a bit too close to a crocodile
and snagged a bit of hippo fat on his croco-smile.
He’s swinging there behind her, his tooth hooked on her tush,
creating  a great disarray while crashing through the bush.

With her competing waddle, they’re an ecological threat,
destroying all the underbrush as they thrash and vet.
How will they resolve this problem that they cause?
First it’s necessary that they cool down and pause

to make peace with the hyenas so they can use their claws
to disentangle hippo skin from the croc’s sharp jaws,
thus restoring order and reinstating peace
so all this inter-species angst finally will cease!!!

Prompt words today are jinx, swing, perplexed,disarray, compete, twinge and hippopatamus. Image by J. Anders on Unsplash.

Defences Make Good Neighbors

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Defences Make Good Neighbors

My neighbor is gregarious but I never talk back,
although I feel I’ll detonate for rejoinders I lack.
They all swell up inside me because they come too late
to be used against her in a retaliatory debate.

If only I’d known what to say before it was too dated,
but alas, past tirades can’t be rejuvenated. 
Her face and clothes are scrumptious, but her view of life is black.
She sees the worst in people, and it turn they see it back.

Every time I look at her, no matter how I try,
I only see a personage that I want to pass by.
So all her earthly beauty, her jewels and her clothing
cannot compensate for a world of mutual loathing.

Prompts for today are rejuvenate, before, scrumptious, detonate, look, black and gregarious. Image by Christian Wiediger on Unsplash.

My apologies to Robert Frost for parodying his last line of “Mending Wall.” (Good fences make good neighbors.)  Actually, eight years ago I wrote a parody of his poem as well. HERE it is if you aren’t already tired of the topic.

Perfectionist Poet

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Perfectionist Poet

How I love an audience to witness my successes,
although I think much less of them when they witness my messes—
fingers marked by fountain pens, hair pulled into peaks
by those elusive phrases that my wild mind seeks.

Please don’t view me in the market when I don’t mean to be seen.
When I’ve had no time to arrange thoughts —no time to plot and preen.
There are certain safeguards  that I like to take
that are not in place yet when I’m barely awake.

So don’t observe me in the morning when I’m not in my full glory,
when my brain is tongue-tied and my thoughts are sparse and gory.
It’s my fervid wish to please, but morning thoughts are frugal.
My images are less like Frost and much more like Brueghal.

So, please come to my readings to see me at my best,
but avoid me in my daily life, please, at my behest.
I prefer you view me with every word in place
there upon the stage and with makeup on my face!!!

 

Prompt words today are audience, market, safeguard, fervid, glory, fountain pen, frugal. Image by John Tyson on Unsplash.

Morning-After Headaches

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I thought she asked if we wanted “regular” or “little” margaritas. It turns out she was saying “liter.” Guess which we ordered?

Morning-After Headaches

The candor of the bottle brings trouble in the morning
when its repercussions start to bloom with little warning.

One’s midnight refusal to utter statements truthless
might, once daylight dawns, be considered to be ruthless.

A drunk’s stubborn insistence to reflect only reality
has been known to end relationships with a certain finality.

Hidden covetous feelings might hereby be revealed
when questioning the ethics of a friend’s investment yield.

One more lifted shot glass can cause snafus in decisions
over topics covered in the next round of derisions.

So some strategic planning should be used on one’s nights out,
regarding confidential matters that one is apt to spout.

When drinking, topics talked about must thus be planned strategically,
for pains caused by loose lips are not ones solved analgesically.

 

 

Prompt words today are bottle ,snafu, covetous, strategic, reality, stubborn, candor.

Ode to Cheetos

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Ode to Cheetos

If you’ve given up on lunch
and seek a substitute with punch,
Cheetos are my favorite snacks
that can be found sealed up in sacks.
Always flavorful and munchy,
crisp and satisfyingly crunchy
between lips and teeth and gums,
enjoyable from cheeks to tums.

Though they’re often underrated,
I feel that they have been berated
by makers of crackers and chips
as well as creators of dips,
due to envy and to spite,
for citrus drinks like Squirt and Sprite
complement their spicy bite,
setting all the world to right.

So buy a bag without delay.
Do not wait another day.
You’ll be elated that you did,
and also happy that you hid
the bag so as you start to chew,
you know that it is all for you!
(Hint: Get the bag marked “Torciditos.”
They’re the premiere type of Cheetos!!!)

For more Cheetos excitement, go here: https://judydykstrabrown.com/2022/12/26/a-very-cheetos-christmas/

Prompt words today are citrus, spite, crunchy, crisp, delay, happy and berated.

Not fiction. I am addicted to these little devils and everyone I’ve introduced them to has become hooked as well. I guess I do you no favors in sharing my favorite vice. I may have to go buy some now. Fortunately, (regrettably?) a little shop I must pass on my way to or from home sells them.

If Truth Were Told

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If Truth Were Told

I’d call you oxymoron, but the pun is just too corny,
so I will simply say that you’re as dumb as you are horny.
You’d be Barney Fife’s apprentice if they rated you on brains—
your lantern of enlightenment extinguished by life’s rains.

Your logic is so flimsy that you’re little more than beast.
Left is right, in is out, up’s down and west is east.
When we try to help you, you see reason as assault.
The world is out to get you and nothing is your fault.

Everyone we know says that we should abandon you,
let you reap what you have sown and cook in your own stew,
but we cannot do it. We’re with you to the end,
because for a lifetime, we have called you friend.

Prompt words are lantern, apprentice, flimsy, east, oxymoron and assault.
The goofus in this photo has given permission to use it. None of the other descriptions apply to him, however. (Face by Forgottenman)

Tarnished Gold

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Tarnished Gold 

It’s apparent I’m replaceable. At least it is the shout
that you moved in my replacement as soon as I moved out.
I hope that you remember as you stroll down your new path
that your former roadway contains an aftermath.

The heirlooms of our marriage include three children who
don’t share my intention of divorcing you.
They need a proper father and you’re the only one
licensed to address them as daughter and as son.

On the heirloom ring you gave me on our wedding night,
the chimera of your family crest really wasn’t quite
appropriate, though made of gold polished shiny bright,
An ass head on a serpent’s body would have got it right!

 

Tenth prompt for the poetry scavenger hunt hosted by A Different Perspective. Write a Golda or incorporate words related to gold into a poem. Is it cheating that I used a poem written six years ago?

(I know gold isn’t supposed to tarnish, but apparently it sometimes does. Perhaps it wasn’t authentic in the first place?)

Old Bones on a Long Hike

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Old Bones on a Long Hike

Traipsing along under vanilla skies,
the splatters of rain came as little surprise.

Then the spray of the sea salt blew into my eyes,
providing my tears a means of disguise.

Climbing the hillside, away from the surf,
my ancient legs struggled with the rough turf.

Once I tripped lightly whereas now I trod
with difficulty over each giant clod.

But then a companion looks down from the view
and points out it’s wild ginger we’re struggling through.

Regaining my humor, I start to have fun,
always a sucker for a corny pun,

for without a clue and with no way of knowing,
I’ve been gingerly coming and gingerly going.

 

For the dVerse Poets prompt, we were given a list of spices and asked to include at least three in our poem. I couldn’t find a picture of me hiking lately (for good reason) but could only find this photo of me in my twenties, perhaps imagining how I’d be fifty years from now ????

Familial One-upmanship

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Familial One-upmanship

My brother has a reputation for excessive lingering.
I think he has advanced degrees in mooching and malingering.

The black sheep of the family, the brunt of all our jokes,
at forty-three he still receives an allowance from our folks.

He ruins family dinners by being loud and brash.
His favorite interactions end up in a clash.

Discussing brands of vodka or motor cars or fashions,
he’s bound to expound at great length about his latest passions.

His family is his outlet for letting off his steam.
His exquisite taste in clothing dissected seam-by-seam.

We get no word in edgewise when conversing with this brother,
so when choosing a table mate, I veer toward any other.

There’s one in every family, it’s true right down the line,
but if you’ve one you’d like to trade, I’d gladly trade you mine.

Prompt words today are discuss, outlet, malinger, clashes, brash,allowance, exquisite and vodka.  (I took this picture but it is not my family.  I took it at a town reunion years ago and it is used for illustrative purposes only. I don’t have any brothers, so the guy  in the poem is fictional, but you might recognize him anyway.)

Sangria Punch for dVerse Poets

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Sangria Punch

Take strawberries, about a cup.
Disinfect, then slice them up.
If you are a liquor lover,
pour tequila in to cover.
Overnight, just let them stew,
then add sangria to the brew
and add fresh orange juice to it
and 7up, more than a bit.

Then slice more strawberries to freeze
and add as many as you please
to pretty glasses picked for show
and put them neatly, row on row
upon the freezer shelf to chill,
ready for your guests to fill
with fresh sangria punch to kill!

For dVerse Poets Quatrain “Punch” Quatrain prompt. Recipe below in non-quatrain form.

1 or 2 cups sliced strawberries and peaches, too, if you wish
2 or 2 cups tequila to cover well
Soak overnight in tall glass pitcher. In the morning, add
1 quart Kirkland Sangria, 1/2 quart fresh orange juice.
When ready to serve, add 1/2 quart 7up, mix and pour over
frozen strawberries places in glasses in freezer to chill.
Adjust for tastes. I do every time. Amounts are approximate.
Store covered in fridge. It improves in flavor as it sits.


HERE is the original dVerse prompt.