Category Archives: Humor

New Boss

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New Boss

Lately, the ladies room at work echoes with gripes and sobs
and we’re checking out the classifieds for new potential jobs.
Our boss’s son is our new boss and though he has his genes,
he doesn’t seem to have his heart. He treats us like machines.
And even though his resume may brand him as auspicious,
our office staff is feeling rather doleful and suspicious.
It’s his frosty cold demeanor that has us feeling lost.
If only he’d thaw out, we’d be more willing to be bossed!

 

The prompts today are frost, classified, doleful and suspicious. Here are the links:

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/11/30/rdp-friday-frost/
https://fivedotoh.com/2018/11/30/fowc-with-fandango-classified/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/11/30/doleful/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2018/11/30/your-daily-word-prompt-suspicious-November-30-2018/

Skipping out on Christmas

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IMG_9520

Skipping out on Christmas

Who cares if it is dark and dismal
and the weather is abysmal.
Why don’t we leave and take a walk.
We need to have a little talk.
If we’re lucky we might get lost
in this weather tempest-tossed
and have to find a little pub
to loft a glass and eat some grub.

Sure, at home the food is free,
but at home is also family!
Grandpa’s drunk and Grandma’s scolding.
Mother’s busy triple-folding
napkins into Christmas trees
and worrying Aunt Beck will sneeze
into the cranberries again,
‘cuz bird without them is a sin.

The kids are wrestling and biting,
as usual, their acts inciting
scolding mother, shouting father.
I always wonder why they bother
to gather every  holiday?
Once all the tawdry facts I weigh,
I wonder why they come together
every year, despite the weather.

So come on. Put your muffler on.
They’ll barely notice that we’re gone.
We won’t be yelled at, questioned, bossed.
I’ll pay the bill, whate’er the cost.
I need that extra Christmas cheer
that can be purchased beer by beer,
as we ponder that conundrum dumb
of why, each year, we also come!

Here are the prompt words and links:

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/11/27/rdp-tuesday-walk/
https://fivedotoh.com/2018/11/27/fowc-with-fandango-leave/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/11/27/dismal/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2018/11/27/your-daily-word-prompt-lost-November-27-2018/

 

Happiness???

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A few days ago I wrote a poem on my blog entitled “Black Friday.”  This creative animated film by Steve Cutts so perfectly illustrates it that I had to share it with you. Really inventive and indicative of our modern world.

 

Turkey Talk

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jdb photo, 2017


Turkey Talk

All day long, I gobble gobble.
Strut my stuff over the cobble
proud and straight, without a wobble,
until a man comes with a hobble.
I’d tell the rest if I were able,
Instead, I’m laid out on your table!

Want to hear some more turkey talk? Go HERE.

 

Matt’s prompt today was “Turkey Talk.”

Mail Order Bride

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poem

Mail Order Bride

He thought she was a jewel so he bought her a rich setting,
but when it came to housework and cooking and begetting
or doing much of anything except asking for dough,
she didn’t have much value. It turned out she was for show.

 

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/11/19/rdp-monday-jewel/

In the Corner Tea Shop

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In the Corner Tea Shop

It was a sort of lunacy
that prompted our grand comedy.
One sticky bun, two mugs of tea
predated our dependency.
As you passed, you looked so yearningly
at that last bun, and jealously
surveyed my plate most zealously,
wishing it had gone to thee.

Later, when you got up to pee,
I took note of your truancy
and put the bun where it should be—
there on your plate. When finally,
you returned, you viewed with glee
where that bun had come to be,
viewing it most quizzically
and pondering the mystery
of this delicious legacy.
You glanced around to try to see
its origins, and finally,
you saw my empty plate, and me.

I remember with such piquancy
how swiftly you ensorcelled me—
first with your smile, and eventually
by your approach and finally
by your sweet generosity
as you brought the bun to share with me,
sat at my table, crossed foot on knee,
and conversed with so much vibrancy
that “I” and “you” turned into “we.”

It was our first romantic tryst—
A morning tea break with a twist.

 

IMG_6178

The prompt words today were mug, tryst, lunacy and ensorcell. Here are the links:
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/11/18/rdp-sunday-mug/
https://fivedotoh.com/2018/11/18/fowc-with-fandango-tryst/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/11/18/lunacy/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2018/11/18/your-daily-word-prompt-ensorcell-November-18-2018/

The D-cision

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The D-cision

Sometimes I am d-lighted and sometimes I’m d-pressed.
D-cidedly eclectic in what feelings are expressed.
Yet d-rision is a concept that goes right o’er my head,
If I had wanted criticism, might as well have wed.

 

 

 

 

For “The Letter D” on Daily Inkling

And Make it Zippy!!!

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An Open Letter to Panasonic, Apple and Ziplock

Since it is true, I must report–
my phone cord’s always two feet short
of reaching from the wall connection
towards my office desk’s direction.
And Apple power cords, for heaven’s sake.
Could they make one that doesn’t break?

Why don’t Ziplocks really zip?
Why can’t I ever find the lip
to pull the damn thing easily closed?
Nothing’s as simple as supposed.
So to the fellows who design,
please listen to these words of mine:

This customer is getting miffed.
Please don’t hold her in short shrift.
Assure me that the fault’s not mine
by bettering your weak design.
Just make your flipping phone cords longer!
Ziplocks zippier, Mac cords stronger!

In the interim, I’ll use
tape and rubber bands and glues.
My power cord’s life they will assure
and keep my plastic bags secure.
I’ll shove my desk over on my own
to try to reach the blooming phone.

But finally I’m sure I’ll snap
and cease to buy your ill-formed crap.
So get my drift and make some changes.
A thing like this is what deranges
and drives us to cell phones, PC’s,
and covered bowls to store our cheese!!!!

For the Ragtag prompt: Zip

New Roommate, Chapter 2

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New Roommate, Chapter 2

I have the need to be alone, to hide away, sequester,
but my roommate never leaves the room! She’s somewhat of a nester.
She seems to be ensconced here with her creepy boyfriend Lester,
and my irritation’s turned into a boil about to fester.
I may not make it to the end of the next semester
when I can find a roommate who is less of a rester.
She can be a talker or messy or a jester.
She can use my makeup, wear my clothes or gripe and pester.
In fact, I will take anyone short of a child molester,
so long as she’s a roamer—a gad-about, a quester!!!!

 

See Chapter 1 HERE.

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/11/16/sequester/

New Roommate, Chapter 1

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New Roommate, Chapter 1

I hope I’ll be forgiven if I’m driven to impose
and point out that the place that you have chosen for repose
is on my bed, not yours, and on my freshly laundered clothes!
You’ve drooled on my new-pressed jeans and snagged my finest hose
and that’s my favorite blouse there beneath your dripping nose,
and though you look most comfortable in that snuggling pose,
I fear you and your boyfriend I simply must depose.
Is it possible to move to your own bed, do you suppose?

(See Chapter 2 HERE.)

The prompt for today was “impose.” Here is the link:
https://fivedotoh.com/2018/11/17/fowc-with-fandango-impose/