Tag Archives: silly poem

Mr. Wordy

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Mr. Wordy

If you have any questions, he’s there for you to query.
It’s rumored he’s a veritable walking dictionary.
Phrases pile up around him, Paragraphs drift like snow.
He simply has to put in words all that he claims to know.

If you’re breaking the rules of grammar, he’ll put you in your place,
and if you mispronounce a word, he’ll tell you to your face.
He’s a pain to talk to, a vain and tiresome man.
So if it’s possible, I’d say avoid him if you can.

He leaves his words behind him, tracking nouns right down the hall.
Adjectives and participles fall where they may fall.
As rotund in his rhetoric as in his derriere,
if words were spoor, I’m sure that we could track him anywhere!

 

Prompt words are rhetoric, rotund, breaking, spoor and dictionary.

Turning the Tables

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Turning the Tables

The turtle stuck his neck out to see where he was going,
but might have hidden in his shell if he had means of knowing

that the chef had plans for turtle soup, so caught him at the threshold
and put his hands around his neck so he could gain a flesh hold.

But such plans “gang aft astray.” The turtle put a spin on
and designed a different course from  one that he had been on.

He dragged that gourmet chef along and headed for the sea.
Their noise of battle was the thing that awakened you and me.

We put our vinyl raincoats on and fiddled with the locks,
scooting feet into our shoes, devoid of any socks.

No moonlight eased our journey, for rainclouds obscured all,
and amidst the raindrops, we commenced to slip and fall.

Around us, many turtles were streaming towards the sea,
intent upon their journey. Ignoring you and me.

So we turned back homeward, to sit upon our stoop
imagining those turtles enjoying human soup.

 

Prompt words for The Sunday Whirl are: turtle neck shell hidden
but design no spin fiddle amidst noise vinyl

For Wordle 542 Image by Dusan Veverkolog on Unsplash.

Nothing but the Truth!!! For dVerse Poets

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If Nothing but the Truth Was Possible

Your child is not as charming as you think he is.
Perhaps if you just said, “No!” to him now and then?

I’m allergic to dogs. Could you get your St. Bernard off my lap, please,
and lock him out of the room where we’re sitting?

As much as I enjoyed the first hundred of your family photos,
could we perhaps move on to conversation of a less familial theme?

My husband has seen enough of your cleavage for one evening. Could you cage them?

Your poem’s triteness is only equaled by its misspellings.

I can see why you would want to be a swinger. Someone as gross as you are
should not expect his wife to shoulder all the responsibility.

Walmart art does not really count as a collection.

Whether your rocks are cubic zirconium or diamonds, they are still ugly!!!

When people back away from you, there’s a good chance
they don’t want you to advance on them again.

A good way to check for bad breath is to lick your wrist.

Have you ever wondered why only beautiful women want you to ask them to dance?

If you expect things in Mexico to be just like they were in the U.S., please remember
that there is a country just north of the border that is the U.S.!! Why don’t you go there?

No I am not ill. I’ve just spent two years starving myself and spent a fortune
on appetite suppressants. Couldn’t you just tell me I look fabulous?

Be honest now. Would you ever have thought to eat raw fish if it weren’t all the rage?

Your life depends on telling the truth. Do you you really, truly enjoy opera?

Just what is it you find enchanting about Paris? Oh, right. It must be the friendly people!

 

The adage I chose as inspiration for my poem was, “The truth shall set you free.” John 8:32

Image by Brett Jordan on Unsplash. To see more poems based on adages, go HERE.
And HERE is a link to the prompt itself.

No Chip Off His Block

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No Chip Off His Block

He cannot get a rise out of his insouciant daughter.
A woman on a tightrope, he cannot make her totter.
Cool as a cucumber, a lamb chop with no gristle,
teasing does not faze her. No insult makes her bristle.

He sees her as a puzzle he’s determined he will solve.
Where did she get her backbone and her strong resolve?
He’s had too many beers, but when he goes to get another,
it’s clear to everybody else she takes after her mother!

 

 

Prompt words today are gristle, mimic, insouciant, totter and tease.

Fatal Obsession

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Fatal Obsession

My father is an ogre and rather hard-of-hearing,
but I had the silly idea I could rise above my rearing.
All my friends were human and I had a strange obsession
for screening them from tendencies I had in my possession.

The result was that I scored a beau inimitably grand—
the sort of perfect boyfriend I thought I’d never land.
Vibrant, handsome, wealthy and inordinately smart,
he was the sort of catch that would melt any ogress heart.

In short, I could barely believe that Avery was mine,
but when I brought him pridefully home with me to dine,
after the aperitifs, the soup and the tossed salad,
I noticed that my father was looking somewhat pallid.

I stepped into the kitchen to find him food more savory,
only to return to find that dad had eaten Avery!!
I cried, “How could you do this to one who’s so indelible?
“I tried to prove you wrong,” he said. “I thought you said inedible!”

 

Note: An ogre (feminine: ogress) is a legendary monster usually depicted as a large, hideous, man-like being that eats ordinary human beings, Ogres are closely linked with giants and with human cannibals in mythology.

Prompt words for today are vibrant, indelible, inimitable, possess and pride.

Bedtime Stories: Wordle 541

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Bedtime Stories

When I hear scuffling in the ceiling and scratching in the wall,
fluttering at the windows and steps out in the hall,
Mommy says it’s mice and birds to calm my excitation,
but Daddy tells me other things that swell imagination.

There are ghost doors in the attic and temples in the sky
that creatures will spring out of to join me by and by.
My dad will weave their stories and spread them out for me.
He’ll just open up his mouth and that will set them free.

When I think of all the stories, there’s such anticipation
that I can feel my heart boom and hear its palpitation.
Nighttime is less scary with Mommy or with Nurse,
but bedtime without stories is definitely worse.

 

The prompt words are: temples fluttered ghost door spring mouth weaving stories step boom sky scuffling for Sunday Stills Wordle 541  Illustration by Marloes Hilckman on Unsplash.

Payback

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Payback

When Hal at the feed store hired a new clerk,
he was friendly enough, but a bit of a jerk.
He quickly filled orders for packets of seed
of a kilo or so, but he didn’t accede
to requests for help out with a heavier sack.
He had an excuse as he claimed a bad back.
Then later that rascal would  go to the gym
and work out with weights far heavier than him.
Of course word got around and was cause for his layoff.
Good news for his back which now has every day off!

Prompts today are layoff, rascal, friendly, accede and clerk. Image by julian-andres-carmona-serrato on Unsplash.

Squirreled Splendor

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Squirreled Splendor

Why this crazy diadem so intimately curled?
How quizzical you’ve seen it fit to be completely squirreled.
If I decide to follow suit to don a furry coif,
will you claim a copyright and make me take it off?

 

Prompt words today are decide, diadem,  copyright, quizzical,

Miss Malaprop

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Miss Malaprop

A nubile young maiden, inchoately malleable
needs some instruction to stay out of trouble.
Her mother has warned against malaprop gaffes,
which in her innocence, she calls “giraffes.”
So if you are seeking to be this girl’s savior,
in adducing reasons for proper behavior,
keep your words simple and don’t try to teach
difficult words that are out of her reach!

 

Prompt words today are inchoate, malleable, nubile, adduce and gaffe. Image by Sherise on Unsplash.

 

Stop and Go

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Stop and Go

Consider the ramifications
of an excess of libations. 
You can kiss but you can’t hug
the frothy lip of a bar mug.
It takes a bit of nerve and spine
to veer off course, to forsake wine
and face the angst of barroom gents
in favor of family events.
Hats off to drinking men who know
The proper time to stop and go!

 

Prompt words today are ramifications, angst,  veer, spine and hug,