Tag Archives: silly poem

Good Humor Rumor

8 Replies

Good Humor Rumor

Chocolate chip is best, but I’m amenable to berry
when we hit the ice cream aisle at the cash and carry.

Afterwards, we’ll both lie low until the carton’s finished,
for if we share our ice cream stash, it is too soon diminished.

But somehow when we’ve paid a visit to the frozen section,
it never seems to escape our neighbor’s keen detection.

Instant company always comes knocking at our door
when we get back home again to where we were before

So if you’re not prone to sharing , I really must advise,
that if you’re bearing ice cream, it’s best done in disguise.

 

Word prompts today are lie low, restriction, instant, berry. amenable 

Couturier Extraordinaire

22 Replies

I admit this is the weirdest poem I’ve ever written. Forgive me,Robert Frost….

To be sung to the tune of “Nothing Could be Finer Than to be in Carolina!”

Couturier Extraordinaire

Nothing could be finer
than to be a dress designer
a hum di-i-i-i-in-ger.

Dealing with disaster,
sewing faster faster faster
on my Si-i-i-i-in-ger.

Nothing that they do can ever h-e-e-e-ex me
even fashion stalkers cannot ve-e-e-e-ex me.

Marketing their copies
to the stoners and hip-hoppies,
they can’t ma-a-a-a-at-ch me

Gleaning all my leavings,
they are surely misconceiving,
They can’t ca-a-a-a-a-tch me.

No one in the industry can best me.
All their machinations cannot test me.

That’s why nothing could be finer
than to be this dress designer
I give wa-a-a-a-ar-ning!!
for no one can beat me
and for sure they can’t repeat me
at ado-o-o-o-or-ning!!!!!!

Prompt words are designer, perplex,  glean,  stalk, disaster,

Joys of Aging

25 Replies

Joys of Aging

I expected wheezing and perhaps crepitations,
creaking joints and even gaseous emanations.
Minor loss of memory and odious rolls of fat,
problems kneeling on my knees, but apart from that,
Mother never taught me and Father never told
the most bothersome drawbacks there were to growing old.

These lines and tracks enmeshing my neck are most distressing.
I can’t conceal them with cosmetics or the way I’m dressing.
They’ve crept onto my forehead and made crow’s feet near my eyes.
These crevasses above my lips I simply can’t disguise,
and though I crave a remedy that would work for sure for them,
no website has  a cream and no peddler has a cure for them.

The only sure solution is a boyfriend who’s my age
who has similar problems so we’re on the same page.
And hopefully among those ills, he’ll suffer from myopia,
macular degeneration or perhaps presbyopia
so he will not notice the fissures on my face
or the deterioration of any other place.

Prompt words today are father, enmesh, peddler, apart,  crepitate, presbyopia, another.

 

Traveler’s Advisory

6 Replies

 

Traveler’s Advisory

An explorer most intrepid, while plodding pole-to-pole,
one day declared this wish to be his penultimate goal.
He wanted to increase his pace to maximal extent
by carrying less luggage everywhere he went.
He found a weightless backpack that, sadly, was inflammable,
into which he stuffed all his possessions that were crammable.
He then set off upon his trek at a healthy trot,
on a day the sun was inordinately hot.

Glancing off his zipper, it started a small fire
near the bottom of his backpack that quickly traveled higher,
igniting matches in his pack, and then the gasoline
he carried to start fires with set a magazine
stuffed into his bag top gloriously afire,
turning his whole backpack into a funeral pyre.
The moral of this story is, if your travel pack
isn’t fire retardant, don’t bear it on your back!!

Prompt words for today are inflammable, pole, explore, maximal and pace.

Be Careful What You Wish For

11 Replies

Be Careful What You Wish For

The sky was dark and oorie the day of the premiere,
and approaching the red carpet, the star expressed a fear
her gown hem would be sullied as she passed through the morass
and the tabloids would just note the stains instead of her fine ass.

“Please tell them not to mention my less-than-perfect garb,
she spat out at her agent in her customary barb.
And her look was sullen as she left her limousine,
less glamorous than that depicted on the movie screen.

And as she slogged her way through puddles to the gala scene,
through photographers and writers from every magazine,
of course they all reported on that look of arch disdain
instead of any mention of her garment’s spreading stain.

Prompt words are oorie, premiere, disdain, morass and arch. Image by Raychan on Unsplash.

It Can’t Go On Without Us!!!!

10 Replies



It Can’t Go On Without Us!!!!

Moss will not grow on a stone if someone’s there to spin it.
The genipapo needs a hand to squeeze the ink within it.

No finish line is ever crossed in one proverbial minute
without those legs that join the race and set a goal to win it.

No job has ever botched itself unless a human blows it.
Knowledge is not knowledge until somebody knows it.

A car without a human foot can’t pick up any speed.
What good are pears or apples without a mouth to feed?

No tail’s pinned on a donkey without a hand to pin it.
What transgression could exist without a man to sin it?

Even guilt would not exist without human compunction.
In short, the Earth’s in need of us to fulfill every function.

The Gods must be mistaken when they censure us and cuss us.
In truth, we make the world go ’round. Where would it be without us?

Prompts today are moss, minute, genipapo, botch and speed.

Poem inspired by the film “Don’t Look Up.”  Too, too close in its depiction of our present day world.

2022

16 Replies

2022

In every corner of the globe in far-flung civilizations
I imagine folks are planning tonight’s celebrations.
This finale of the year will bring a brilliant end
to last year’s resolutions that we saw fit to bend.

This year we will get it right. There will be no debate.
We’ll resolve to start again. We won’t equivocate.
We’ll get pally with old friends we haven’t seen for years,
clean out stuffed closets and pay debts that are long in arrears.

This year as midnight approaches and we sing “Auld Lang Syne,”
the mistake that we made last year in drinking too much wine
will not be repeated, for we’ll avoid the bars
and start our New Year resolutions under the brilliant stars.

Spread out under Orion, we’ll construct our list of “do’s”
to become perfect in those ways that only we can choose.
We won’t eat so much chocolate. We’ll exercise each day
and weigh each night to see how many pounds have slipped away.

We will not play loud music so won’t be held to blame
and hope that all our neighbors will resolve to do the same.
We’ll keep our yards trimmed neatly and repaint all our shutters,
relieved that for this year at least we won’t hear neighbors’ mutters.

We’ll take bags when we walk the dogs and bring their poops all home
so folks for blocks around will not dread it when we roam.
We’re not perfect now, but in twenty-twenty-two,
we’re weeding out bad habits and starting out anew.

 

 

Prompt words today are finale, brilliant, auld lang syne, pally and civilization.

They’ll Be Sorry!!!

22 Replies

They’ll Be Sorry!!!

She’s stuffing Mommy’s reticule with necessary stuff,
putting on her bunny coat and leaving in a huff.
All the sundry items contribute to its thickness—
pajamas for her dolly and candy pills for sickness.

She’s packed her favorite nightie and her dolly and her bear,
a pair of extra panties and a hairbrush for her hair.
She grabs a sun umbrella as she passes by the rack,
squishes up her raincoat and stuffs it in her sack.

So now she’s set for sun or rain as she sets off to roam.
She’ll make her parents sorry when she runs away from home!
The hall clock ticks its countdown as she sets off on her lark.
She’ll have to run away right now to be back before dark.

 

Prompt words are reticule, sundry, countdown, cohere and sickness.
Image by Zahra Amiri on Unsplash

New Year Resolutions

5 Replies

New Year Resolutions

When the new year zaps us with our last year’s reflection,
it brings up all our defects and flaws for our detection.
It goads us to be better and to bend our crooked way
to plot a straighter game in life than we’ve been prone to play. 
It’s January 1st that prods our consciences to make them,
giving us a whole long year in which to go and break them.

 

Word prompts are zap, play, reflection, goad and bend. Image, Kate Hliznitsova on Unsplash.

Make Mine Tanqueray

7 Replies

Make Mine Tanqueray

A gin and bubbly with a twist?
Sufficient reason to exist.
As integral to daily life
and in deferring pain and strife
as a good psychiatrist.
Better, in fact, I must insist,
than thrusting all one’s problems on
some overworked Freudian don.
On days when feeling near-demonic,
nothing soothes like gin and tonic!!!

 

 

Prompts today are twist, integral, bubbly defer and thrust.