Tag Archives: Humor

New Roommate, Chapter 1

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New Roommate, Chapter 1

I hope I’ll be forgiven if I’m driven to impose
and point out that the place that you have chosen for repose
is on my bed, not yours, and on my freshly laundered clothes!
You’ve drooled on my new-pressed jeans and snagged my finest hose
and that’s my favorite blouse there beneath your dripping nose,
and though you look most comfortable in that snuggling pose,
I fear you and your boyfriend I simply must depose.
Is it possible to move to your own bed, do you suppose?

(See Chapter 2 HERE.)

The prompt for today was “impose.” Here is the link:
https://fivedotoh.com/2018/11/17/fowc-with-fandango-impose/

 

Which Way? (D.P.S.*)

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D.P.S.*

Please click on first photo below to enlarge all the photos and read the poem that is presented as their captions.

When I am home, I am up on a shelf, high up in the air, and all by myself,
but when they go traveling, I go along so I can help out telling  right way from wrong.
How far are we going?
Where have we been?
This a way.
That a way. Nine miles or ten?
Which way should I face to tell where we’re going? Which way is best to be in the knowing?
How can I help you down here in this hole? Vacationing backwards is not my main goal.
I know I’ll do better up here on the dash. 
I’ve room to spread out ‘cuz it’s less of a mash.
Should I face forward, or should I face back?

Should I inform with a wing or a quack?
Should we go left or should we go right?

It is a good thing that I’m here within sight
‘cuz Mom’s only looking at trees and at barns.

Clicking her camera and spinning her yarns.
She thinks that she’s helping me plan this excursion, 


but in fact she is simply creating diversion!
Secret

*Duck Positioning System

https://sonofabeach96.com/2018/11/08/which-way-challenge-november-8-2018/

Barbra Streisand, Carpool Karaoke. A Hoot!!

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Our Newest Emperor’s New Clothes

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Our Newest Emperor’s New Clothes

How do we mentor our burgeoning youth
in these times of extraordinary stretchings of truth?
Teach them to sort out these rash acts of treason,
to approach them with heart and strain them through reason.
Teach them hating is wrong and exclusion is selfish—
that plastic’s destroying our coral and shellfish.
That medical care should be something for all
and that hoarding of wealth brings a country’s last fall.

Teach them the future is theirs to decide.
Teach them the truth of whom to deride.
Teach them that facts being taught by their teachers
may rival what they’re being taught by some preachers
and those who would rule to win their own gain,
lining their pockets again and again
with tax cuts that only extend to the rich
while the trickle down theory develops a hitch.

Teach them to sort out rhetoric from fact.
Teach them to care and to vote and to act
to stretch out the privilege to blanket us all.
We are not alone on this spinning great ball.
Our former meddling and incredible gall
is why we’re considering building a wall
to keep out the hungry and frightened downtrodden
who come to us weary, exhausted and sodden.

They ask for asylum and our protection
from dictators who have prompted defection
much as many Americans are fleeing south
to avoid the stupidity and the vile mouth
of the dictator who is now ruining our land
with illogical thinking and truth that is canned.
Who will mentor whom in this crazy new world
once the last hateful invectives are hurled?

Our world has been sold out for profit and gain—
overseen by leaders opportunistic and vain.
Perhaps it’s our youth who will now mentor us
to sort out the truth from this internet fuss.
As in the old legend, They’ll teach the uncouth
to forsake propaganda for naked truth.
It’s hoped that our youth wake us up from our doze
to point out the truth of our Emperor’s new clothes!!

 

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/11/04/rdp-sunday-mentor/
https://fivedotoh.com/2018/11/04/fowc-with-fandango-extraordinary/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/11/04/burgeon/

The Letter “C”

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The Letter “C”

Here’s to the letter “C” that marks what is in the middle.
Somewhere between “A” and “F,” it has been known to fiddle.
While “A” studies most diligently, “C” is bound to shirk.
It has a certain phobia regarding too much work.
It’s head and shoulders above “F” and far better than “D.”
Nobody ever flunked a course by maintaining a “C.”

And yet it calls no sound its own. It’s either “K” or “S.”
At birthday time,  we’re given kake and winning brings suksess.
We’re stopped dead in our trases. When we’re kissed, it’s a karess.
Why “C” has no sound of its own, not one of us kan guess.
When the sirkus komes to town, it’s happened onse or twise
that the krokodiles eskape. It isn’t very nise.

Townfolks run and skurry—skared as they kan be,
for katastrophes kan happen when krokodiles run free.
It isn’t too konvenient, as you kan klearly see
to be a kurly letter the likes of letter “C”
that’s firmly in the middle, with no sound of its own.
Does “C” dream of being “S” when it’s fully grown?

The Letter “S.”

For “The Letter C” prompt by Daily Inkling.

Streisand Carpool Karaoke. A Hoot!!!

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Well-Timed Arrival

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Matt’s question of the day: Aliens have finally visited Earth and are ready to make contact with humans! There’s just one thing: the aliens unknowingly landed on Halloween. What happens next? 

I’d say they’re going to get lots of candy!!!!

1913688_1136038087858_6027993_n 3

 

For Matt’s prompt: https://normalhappenings.com/2018/10/30/thirty-first-contact-daily-inkling/

On the Wagon (A Vampire’s Lament)

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Matt is turning Halloween on us, demanding that we imagine being turned into a vampire for the month of October for the rest of our lives.  I just wrote a vampire poem for another prompt, Matt, but oh well, here I go again!!!

On the Wagon
(A Vampire’s Lament)

I’m facing a whole month of sober
now that it’s almost October.
Passing up my gin and tonic
for a drink more histrionic.

Need I say I merely ask
liquid refreshment from a flask?
All said and done, I much prefer
to drink from glass and not from her.

I find this other way of curbing
my addictive thirst disturbing.
All that blood that sucking draws
is neater when it’s done through straws.

Alas, I find this vampire curse
most distressing. Nothing worse
could be my fate except perhaps
karma so far kept under wraps.

An Easter curse would be the dregs—
to spend all April sucking eggs!

For Matt’s Vampire Prompt.

Snow’s Epilogue

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Snow’s Epilogue

We can’t codify the snowflakes nor put them into order.
They fall to make a blanket or a pile or a border.
They come in a blizzard and leave us in a trickle. 
There’s something about former snow that is so very fickle.
It drips in drops from icicles and surges down the gutters.
Our attempts to modify it end in futile mutters.
I need not be prophetic to state the truth of snow.
It starts out in a flurry and ends up in a flow.

 

 


I’m finally in Missouri after a day on planes, airports and car. Ready to tackle today’s prompt words which are: blizzard, former,modify and prophetic. Here are the links:
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/10/18/rdp-thursday-blizzard/
https://fivedotoh.com/2018/10/18/fowc-with-fandango-former/
https://dailyaddictions542855004.wordpress.com/2018/10/13/daily-addictions-2018-week-41/modify
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/10/18/prophetic/

Anniversary Blunder

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Anniversary Blunder

It was an anniversary present for which he must atone
unless he wants to spend next anniversary alone.
When she opened up her gift, the lone words she could muster
were a string of sputterings, followed up by, “Buster!
is this the best  that you could do—a sander, saw and drill?
Shopping at a hardware store’s not anyway to thrill
a wife lusting for jewelry or even an appliance
more within the likelihood of strengthening our alliance!”
He said, “I thought a contrast might bring a little zing
to our romance much more unique than a diamond ring.
Then he led her to the closet and opened up the door
to see her brand new shoe rack built from ceiling to the floor.
New shelves and custom cabinet with jewelry racks and chest,
and then he opened up a drawer to reveal the best
surprise of all the others—left there for her to see—
a note that said, “Another gift. The tools were for me
to build this brand new closet that you’ve hinted at for years.
Here it is, with all my love, admittedly in arrears!
Look in the bottom jewelry drawer if this is not enough.
You’ll find a box there nestled next to your other stuff.”
And there she found the ring she’d wanted, nestled in among
all the gifts he’d bought her since the years when they were young.
Then she had a revelation, embarrassed for her huff,
and said, “Oh dear, you shouldn’t have. The tools were enough!”

The prompt words for today are contrast, hardware, atone and muster.  Here are the links:
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/10/02/rdp-tuesday-contrast/
https://fivedotoh.com/2018/10/02/fowc-with-fandango-hardware/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/10/02/atone/
https://dailyaddictions542855004.wordpress.com/muster